Five Ways to Refresh Your RelationshipWritten by Rinatta Paries
A relationship is like a delicate rose bush. If you care for it, it will bloom year after year with unsurpassed beauty. If you don't, you might end up with a dull, lifeless entity that is struggling to survive.
Below are five ideas to keep your relationship in bloom for years to come.
If you are single, read these tips with an eye on what you will want to do in a long-term relationship. If you are in a relationship, pick one or two of five ideas and integrate them into your relationship now. You will be amazed at how many nice feelings you can create quickly by taking a few simple steps.
1. Make time for your relationship week after week. Take time for each other every single week. For most couples, it is a good idea to have a standing date night. Communicate to your friends, kids, everyone, that this night is reserved especially for two of you. Keep date every week, no matter what. Make it your priority.
2. Do fun, pleasurable things together. Sharing fun and pleasure fosters intimacy. Intimacy is what relationships are all about. Share good meals, share play time, share jokes and funny movies, share outdoor activities. What matters most is that activity is fun and pleasurable for each of you.
3. Do long-term activities as a couple. Do something long-term together. Learn about investments, take dance lessons, refinish furniture, reach your fitness goals. Do some long-term activity that will enrich and interest each of you, together. By doing this you will stay connected to each other and foster common ground in relationship. Make sure that this is above and beyond child rearing.
6 Reasons Why Setting Goals Doesn't WorkWritten by Kathy Gates
You're frustrated. You dutifully follow Goal Setting 101 advice, but it still seems that you lose sight of what you want and how you'll get it. See if any of these common goal setting mistakes - and how to correct them - are behind your frustrations. Make adjustment, and try again.
1 Hung-Up-On Goals - It's easy to get plugged into a goal, and even though it's not working, you hang on to it out of sheer habit or willfulness. That sets you up for procrastination and frustration. Put things into a more simplified version by concentrating on big picture - direction you want your life to go - instead of specific way to get there. Maybe goal to own a Million Dollar house is about wanting freedom and autonomy. Maybe goal to write a NYT bestseller is really about wanting recognition for your talents. Focus on feelings that you are after instead of one-and- only way to get it.
2. Transparent Goals: If you examine your goals you may find that you have no *plan* associated with your goal. Generally mistake here is that 'goals' and 'actions' have become confused. Instead, think Goal, Strategy, Action. The Goal is objective, what you want. The Strategy is overall way in which you'll accomplish it. And The Action is specific activity that is required to achieve it (how you'll do it). Example: You might have big picture goal of a healthier lifestyle. The strategy associated with that might be to eat less and exercise more. The ACTIONS might be "don't eat after 6:00 pm", and "walk 30 minutes after 6:00 news every weekday".
3. Contradictory Goals. This is a common mistake in goal setting--two or more goals with opposing results. Marriage counselors see it a lot in people who want benefits of being married without giving up single lifestyle. Or maybe you have a goal to spend more time with your family, but you have a job you want to do well at that require a lot of face-time. Contradictory goals will frustrate you to no end, because you've given yourself an impossible task. Evaluate your goals in light of their relationship to each other.
4. False Goals: These are goals that involve chasing money, approval of others, etc. If you want to become a doctor just to win approval of your parents, that's a false goal. If you want to be Super Mom just to please your husband, that's a false goal. You may even succeed at getting your degree, or being a Martha Steward wannabe, but you'll never be happy with your decision. It's not YOUR goal. "Shoulds" are usually someone else's idea of a life for you. If you find that you can't accomplish anything on your goal, it may be that it's not an expression of authentic you. Find courage to tell truth about what you really want in your life.