Finding Your Perfect PartnerWritten by David Wood
Finding Your Perfect Partner The mistake is to go looking, before cleaning up your own "back yard". The mistake is to seek someone because you're so desperately lonely, and don't feel happy with your own company. You may find a partner using this approach, but it often won't last, and will rarely lead to fulfillment. There's nothing wrong with this approach, and this newsletter won't stop anyone doing it. BUT - here's key to entering a great relationship: You want to be having such a great time that perfect partner notices you and says "Hey - can I play too?". If you are already happy with your own company, and loving your life, then skip straight to PART II - action section. If there are some things you're ready to handle in your own life - to prepare a more attractive space for a partner to come into and play - then read on. Try following check list (add up your score - 1 for each "true"): •I have a job I enjoy. •I am happy with my chosen friends and am well supported. •I am complete (nothing unresolved or unsaid) with my close family members and friends. •I do not fret about money. (I have a reserve of cash and/or regularly save a percentage of my income). •My home and bedroom are places I would feel comfortable inviting someone to spend time in. •I am happy with my current weight, appearance and way I dress. •I feel good about food I eat and my current exercise program. •I enjoy/am comfortable spending time alone. •I have found things to do alone (other than reading or watching TV) that I enjoy. •I am comfortable expressing myself. •My week is fun - I have found things to do that are so much fun that I'm not always looking around to see who I might meet. You don't need to score 11 to have a great relationship. But if your score is not as high as you would like, why not choose today to turn ONE thing on above list into "True"? Work on your own, with a friend, or with a coach. Top Ten Practical Actions to Finding a Partner
| | Make Your Life Easier Written by David Wood
Make Your Life Easier 'Have you read Art of War?' someone asked me once. Fighting someone to get your way is definitely a valid strategy. But you don't need me to tell you about that one - we've all been arguing and manipulating to get our own way since we were born! And you may have noticed - often when you push, other person pushes back! Wars have been fought, relationships lost, and many ulcers create with this kind of energy. This article is about opposite approach - art of fun surrender! Now many people who know me know I'm not usually first person to use this approach! In fact I can often be a real control-freak. However, I've been noticing quite often lately how much fun it can be to surrender - and often you don't lose a thing!!! So, call this 'observations from a novice'... Surrender 1 I was getting very frustrated with pedestrians in Byron Bay. They cross street anywhere they like, often without warning - it's like they think whole of Byron is a mall! So there's been a power play evolving: they walk across street in face of my oncoming car, and sometimes I swear they even ~slow down~ to show me they have right! So I drive right up to them - to make point that I've got right of way, and they should at least ~look~ if they are going to stroll across road. This week I decided to try something new: I decided that pedestrians have right of way in Byron. That these are their roads, and they get to do what they want with them. In fact, I decided I'm lucky to be able to drive around Byron at all! So how different do you think my experience was yesterday in car? I drove much slower, I watched for people everywhere. I even slowed down and waved people across when I could see they were thinking of darting across road. Much more fun! Surrender 2 My partner Bronwyn cleans kitty litter. I was ~stunned~ when she looked like she was about to throw cat poo over balcony onto our lawn! When I said 'What are you doing!!??', she replied that it smelled, she wanted to get rid of it in a hurry, and since it was raining we'd never notice it there and it would eventually disappear into soil. Well - I gotta tell you - part of me that tries to keep everything together - to keep things ordered and tidy - went nuts! I was furious at idea of cat poo littered all over our beautiful lawn. Having spent years practicing boundaries in my own life and helping my clients do same, I started with what I knew - albeit with a little charge attached: 'NO! That doesn't work for me. You can't throw cat poo over balcony' Fortunately, within seconds I realised how dominating and controlling this was. I was scared and reacting. And in that moment it came to me: 'You know what? It's perfectly OK if you throw it over side. But, I want you to know that I would really dislike it, and every morning I would go down and clean it off lawn - which would make unpleasant work for me. But if you still want to do it, I'm OK with it'. And believe it or not - I meant it! Of course I couldn't imagine why anyone would continue to do it knowing it would create work like that for their partner - but point was I was willing to handle it if that's what she decided. I ~surrendered~ instead of controlling situation. And you know what? She hasn't done it since.
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