The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as
author resource box at end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: Devoted to Loving Author: Margaret Paul E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 991 Category: Emotional Healing
DEVOTED TO LOVING by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for past 35 years and authored eight published books. All this experience has resulted in development of a profound healing process, called Inner Bonding, which anyone can learn and use throughout day (free course available - see resource box at end of article).
If you were to become aware of your thoughts throughout a day, you might discover that much of time you are either judging yourself and others, or you are thinking about how you can get what you want and avoid that which you fear. The wounded, fearful part of us, whose purpose is to create a sense of safety, spends much time and energy trying to figure out how to have control over being safe. To this frightened wounded part of us, being safe means attempting to have control over our own feelings, over others and over outcome of things.
If you think about how often you have truly felt safe in your life, you will see that most of your beliefs about how to create safety are false. All addictive ways we try to control to create safety - our blaming anger, withdrawal, compliance, resistance, as well as substance and process addictions such as food, drugs, alcohol, sex, TV, gambling - not only alienate us from others, but also disconnect us from our spiritual guidance. Our only true sense of safety lies in knowing that we are not alone, that Spirit is always with us and always guiding us in our highest good.
How can we create a true sense of inner safety? One way is to practice 6-step Inner Bonding healing process. The purpose of Inner Bonding process is to create a loving Adult self – an aspect of us that is connected with a personal source of spiritual guidance. This powerful Adult self can heal fears and false beliefs of wounded part of us, our wounded inner child, and allow our creative and loving essence – our core Self – to emerge.
While part of job of loving Adult is to create a sense of safety for inner child, this is not primary purpose of loving Adult. The primary purpose of loving Adult is stay open to learning about what is loving to oneself and others. In being focused on what is loving rather than on getting what we want and avoiding our pain, we naturally create safety as one of outcomes. If you were to spend your thinking time asking how you can give to your inner child and to others, and then taking loving action in your own behalf, you would feel very safe. When our focus is on giving instead of on getting or avoiding, then we consistently discover ways to give to ourselves and to others. When we are giving to ourselves, bringing love, wisdom and strength of Spirit down to level of our feelings, which is our inner Child, we are no longer dependent on getting love from others in order to feel safe and lovable. When we are giving to others, we do not alienate them. Instead, we create a loving environment that invites others to share love with us. Thus, outcome of thinking about and taking action on how we can give to ourselves and others is that we feel safe within and safe with others.
