In order to find right direction for ourselves, we have to do some soul searching. What is it I want to accomplish? Why? What kind of person do I want to become? Is it so weird to be in our thirties or forties and ask ourselves, "So, what do I want to be when I grow up?" What would make us jump out of bed excited and motivated to get day started? Before getting into these big questions, we need to find out roots behind our decisions. What motivates us to choose what we choose?

If you could create anything you wanted without regards to money, time, or education... what would you do? What would you create if you could wave a magic wand and it would appear? What would you have? Think on that for awhile... anything at all.... Would you create vacations and ability to travel all over world? Would you create an education fund for your children? Would you create your dream home? Would you create a worry free retirement? Would you create a new wardrobe? Would you create music, books, movies, art, medicine? Write down a list of things. Don't worry about how far fetched they might sound. Just make a list of all things you'd do and create if you had unlimited means to do so.

Why would you create those things? Of all things you would magically create, why would you want to create them? What's root cause for you to want to create list of things you'd create? What do you gain by creating those things? Do you want to create those things in order to be free? Secure? Independent? Understood? An entrepreneur? Loved? Creative? An entertainer? An adventurer? What is it you get to become by creating things on your list? What kind of person would you be if you were kind of person living out that list and creating those things?

Moving further back into roots of what you are or wish to become, if you could be anything, what would you want to be? Don't choose job descriptions, choose traits, aspects. What are you now? That's right, "what" would you want to be, not "who" would you want to be. If you died tomorrow, what would people say about you? Were you a healer? Brave? Organized? A great parent? An intellectual? A musician? An artist? Thoughtful? Kind? A supporter of dreams? What would you want them to say about you? How would you like to be seen? Sit with these thoughts for a bit and then write down a list for yourself starting with "I want to be..."

As an example, my list narrowed down to this:

I want to be....

We have been told that things we don't like in our children are same things we don't like in ourselves. We are told that we project our own flaws and issues onto our perceived enemies in an attempt to work them out within ourselves. We stereotype people according to who they hang out with. Birds of a feather flock together. We're attracted to people like ourselves, with same flaws.

To carry concept further, those traits and attributes that we admire in our heroes are within us. Just as with our flaws, we are simply projecting our virtues onto others in an attempt to work them out within ourselves. We are attracted to certain people because they reflect our own aspects back at us. What's that mean?

Let's start with an exercise. Without regards to a persons looks or what they do for a living, think about people that you've admired in your life. On a piece of paper, write down a list of people that have inspired you. Who has touched your heart? Who were your heroes? Make it as long or as short as you like. Which teachers, athletes, movie characters, and politicians have motivated you? Who makes your heart feel warm and enthusiastic?

When you've finished writing down your list of heroes, shift gears and think about traits they have that you admire so much. Are they compassionate, steadfast, loyal, happy, determined, or laidback? Go through each person on your list one at a time and spend some time thinking about their virtues. What makes them so special that you put them on your list of heroes? As you reflect on these people and their attributes, list various traits on a separate piece of paper. Place check marks beside those that get more than one 'vote.'

My lists looked like this:

Mother Daughter Son Victoria (minister) Jennifer (best friend) Jon (doctor friend) Mother Teresa Princess Diana Daniel (musician friend) Simone (artist friend) Vivian Leigh Ron (director friend) Albert Einstein

No worries about money //////// Giving ////////// Kindness ////////// Loyal /////// Joyful attitude ////// Self-confidence /////// Intelligence ////////// Sense of humor /////// Follows dreams ///////// Believes in "the Force" /////////// Not a quitter //////////