The Secret of Sustainable Change By Sarah Kennedy, Certified Professional Life CoachChange is hard. So difficult in fact, that scientists report prospect of radical change can create a neurological reaction in brain similar to those produced by torture. We fear change and yet we want it.
Initiating change is challenging enough, but it has been my experience over years as life coach and personal trainer that sustaining change long enough to establish outcomes is by far a greater challenge.
What is secret to maintaining momentum of change?
Here are basic steps:
Ask What. What is hard truth about where you are now in contrast to where you want to be? Our tendency is to get distracted from change by dwelling in circumstances or “story” about how we got to this point in first place. For example, if change being sought is a full commitment to consistent exercise, focus and energy toward this change can be scattered in process of justifying, blaming or explaining circumstances such as overwhelm at work, low energy at end of day or expectations/needs of others that take precedent over your own. Instead of losing focus here; ask yourself what will my life be like if I continue to not consistently exercise, or allow it to get even worse than that? Explore dark side of why you want to start exercising- consequences, fears and disappointments that could come from degenerating health, loss of functionality and continued weight gain. Be very clear about “pain” aspect of not choosing to stay with your change. Then, ask yourself what could my life be life if I could consistently exercise? Consider what success would mean. Imagine a year from now of consistently exercising- what are outcomes in terms of energy, confidence, ease and quality of work and family life? Once again, idea is to be very clear about “pleasure” aspect of change you want. Asking “what” is not about defining environment, and its limitations surrounding change, “what” are outcomes you will be getting if you do or don’t make change.
Ask Why. What is motivation behind change you are seeking? In example of a commitment to consistent exercise, it is critical to determine basis on which you are making this choice. Is it because you “should” since you’ve made a financial investment in a heath club membership? Is it because you imagine that your declining state of health/appearance is unacceptable to your friends, family, and society? If desire to make change is based on factors outside your values, change will be less sustainable. Consider how change supports or limits you from standpoint of your values. Values that support a commitment to better health could be ‘independence”, “vitality” and “family” (need to stay healthy to support them). Values can also serve as barriers to change you want. A value of “family” could create guilt around time spend working out, a value of “independence” might bring resistance to structure of specific, scheduled workout times. The key is to know what your values are and use them to create a solid connection to “why” of change you want as well as to shed light on where resistance might come.