Fearing the LightWritten by Debbie O'Meara
Iím writing this on a plane, between Boston and Los Angeles. Our movie today is ďCoach Carter.Ē Itís about an inner-city basketball coach who coaches his players to be not just winners on court, but winners in life. A little clichť, but always a good story.
At one of crisis/resolution points in movie, one of formerly problem players quotes a passage that he clearly memorized from a book somewhere. I canít recite whole thing but one part talks about fact that itís not our darkness we fear. Itís our light. Itís not our powerlessness. Itís our power.
I once went to a marketing seminar where instructor asked about what barriers to success people had encountered. One person suggested ďfear of success.Ē The instructor actually ridiculed concept, putting woman on defensive and dismissing idea. But there is such a thing, isnít there?
A college roommate of mine got a perfect 4.0 grade point average one semester (thatís as high as you can get in American universities.) She was excited, but unnerved at same time. She felt like achieving it once put pressure on her to achieve it again, and again, and again. Thatís what fear of success is. Itís fear of setting expectations too high, and feeling constant pressure to meet them. The fear that you canít make any more mistakes, because if you do, youíre letting people down.
Powerful stuff! But when you think about it, itís wrong on so many levels. Hereís why: It assumes that people are paying attention to what youíre doing, and judging your successes and failures. When we were growing up, perhaps, our parents watched Ė and commented Ė on everything we did. Or maybe opposite Ė they didnít see anything we did. Either way, if as adults we think weíre constantly being evaluated, arenít we giving that parental role to other adults who arenít our parents? Who are just as insecure and self-conscious as we are? If you think about it, itís a little egotistical to think that theyíre spending their time evaluating us. And if they are, itís their own shortcoming, their act of measuring their own lives and finding them lacking. Thatís their choice.
In Search For WealthWritten by Nasri Bale
Copyright 2005 Nasri Bale
My eldest son phoned me other night to let me know that he and his partner was going to have a baby. When I got news, I was more excited then he was. He seems to be in a state of shock trying to come to grips with can of worms that had just opened.
For me news was a mix of joy and a realization that time was catching up with me and that *financial* success I have crave for, for so long is still a dream. I, like so many others out there are looking for that pot of gold to make life more comfortable. I use to consider *money* as a gauge to determine my success in life. I and like many of you; have tried over and over again to increase my earnings to provide a better life style for my children. I was determined not to grow up like my parents, always struggling.
Donít get me wrong, I had I good childhood except I never saw much of my dad. He was always working. I did not realize until I had my own kids reason he worked so hard. When Justin was born, I made a personal commitment to provide my children with quality time that I missed with my dad and at same time tried to be a financial success.
My wife Tracee and I have seven children, three boys and four girls. We agree early in our relationship that I would be main bread winner and she would stay home and care for children. As kids were growing up, we would encourage them to play sports and I would help coach their team. This would give me opportunity to spend more time with them.