For other articles which you are free to use, see http://www.innerbonding.com

Title: Fear of Engulfment Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul URL: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 782 Category: Relationships

Fear of Engulfment By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Roger, 33, is a successful engineer. Married with one child, Roger called me because his marriage was falling apart. His wife, Laura, had recently told him that marriage was over unless they got some help. She told him she just couldn’t take it any more.

Roger and Laura were both on phone for their first phone session with me. Laura described what problem was for her.

“Roger is never present – not with me, not with our daughter. He just does his own thing and doesn’t consider what anyone else might need. If I get upset or irritated, he completely retreats and waits for me to fix it. He can retreat for days at a time and energy around house is awful. I try to take care of myself, but I just can’t be around his negativity.

“On top of that, if I ask him to do something, he either refused to do it, or says he will do it and then doesn’t, or ends up messing it up. I know he is competent because of work he does, but he sure doesn’t act competent at home. The only time he is really interested in me is when I’ve completely pulled back. If I want anything from him, he retreats. I can’t live like this anymore!”

“Roger,” I said, “Do you know what Laura is talking about?”

“I know what she is talking about, but I don’t see it way she does. I just feel like she always wants something from me. I end up feeling criticized and trapped a lot. I shut down to get away from feeling trapped.”

“Do you still feel this way, now that she wants out of marriage?”

“It’s funny that you should ask that. No. As soon as she said she wanted out, all of my feelings for her came back. I can’t figure it out!”

“Roger, was one or both of your parents controlling with you?”

“Yes, my mother. She was incredibly controlling.”

American Sports Data, Inc. estimates: - 50.6 million people over age of 6 exercise frequently, participating in single activities (running, cycling, treadmill) - 39.9 million participate in recreational sports (basketball, tennis, softball) - 15.3 million people are active outdoors (hiking, mountain biking, skiing) - 3.2 million players are registered with U.S. Youth Soccer Association

If you pound pavement, swing club, or bat ball, there is always chance for injury. Is your family prepared with a sports first aid kit that meets your needs? Many commercially packaged first aid kits contain basic supplies. Sure, they might offer limited help for simple emergencies. But is your first aid kit prepared to handle your child’s rugby injuries or treat a sprained ankle on soccer field? How about your knee pain after a marathon?

The answer is to create your own customized kit that fits your family’s sports first aid needs. Chances are you already have many of necessary supplies on hand. Here’s how you get started.

1. Evaluate your needs by type of sports your family participates in. Is there likelihood of bumps, cuts, and bruising that might occur in contact team sports? Or are overuse injuries more prevalent such as runner’s knee, golfer’s tendonitis, or tennis elbow?

2. Decide what supplies best fit type of injuries you have described, such as bandages and ointment for cuts; ice pack for pain and swelling; sunscreen for sun burn.