The first thing to come to mind at this moment is this saying: Fear is Faith inverted. I think there's a lot of truth to that.
I have a lot of faith and it's carried me through some of rockiest times of my life. But, I'm human and I feel, cut, bleed and cry like rest of us. And, no matter how much faith I have, there are those moments when I simply "lose it" and am scared out of my mind. It feels like all my faith is gone.
Thank God that after these moments, I sense gentle hand of God calming me down and I know that everything is going to work out…somehow.
But, why can't I just have faith all time and avoid those moments where I can't give my life to God completely? Why do I sometimes get paralyzed with fear?
I don't know. I guess it's because I just haven't learned to do it yet. I wonder if anyone ever can? Are there people out there who are so confident and full of faith that they never become fearful?
I'm not one of them.
The other day we found out that a family member has cancer. At least that's first call doctor who did examination made. As far as I am concerned, jury is still out until biopsy results come in.
I prayed and prayed and am still praying. I am visualizing body healing itself through light of Christ and I am boldly asking for a miracle. Why not? I have right to, just like anyone else. The thing about miracles is this: you have to believe in them for them to happen. I do, and I am not afraid to ask for one because I've gotten over "I don't deserve to ask for one" stage of my life. God wants me to ask, He wants to give and He wants me to believe that He can and will help. So, I asked for one.