A DAUGHTER’S TALE

My father wanted a son. I understood that from time I could intuit those secret messages that children know without knowing they know. My dad loved me. I also knew that. But, raising a daughter was foreign to him. Certainly, it wasn’t his first choice. So, in ways that a child tries to please a parent, I tried to please him, to fulfill and give him what he wished for. It worked up to a point. Although in later years he was proud of me, for most of our life together, he was never comfortable around me.

Baseball was king in New York City when I was a small child, and although my dad was an inveterate Dodger’s fan, we lived near Yankee Stadium and it was there we bonded as much as we were ever able to. Warm weekends, when he was free, we went to game. I looked forward to going with him. The hotdog vendors, and cotton candy, peanuts and all junk food my mother never knew about — a shared secret that made day just that much sweeter, that much more special. Sometimes he remembered how small I was and he reached out to hold my hand. Sometimes, he got caught up in excitement of game, forgetting he had a young daughter to take care of. I understood that too, and in those moments I reached up to touch his hand, sometimes wrapping my small fingers around his larger ones, reminding him of my presence.

· I'd better not try that.

· I don't have a chance to win this one.

· They'd probably turn me down anyway.

· I can't see it working.

· I doubt she'd go out with me.

· What if I call him and he says no?

I could list thousands of these tension building and confidence destroying instructions. Many of us wash these types of negative instructions through our brains every day. It's no wonder we are afraid to try new things.

We always lose when we expect to. Which is why we did. It's self-fulfilling. Expect failure and get failure. Which in turn breeds more expectation of failure.

If you want to change your situation and results you are currently getting - you first have to change your beliefs. This means changing your mental conditioning to get results you want.

If you set yourself up to expect success - you will achieve more success - and so breeding more expectations of success. It starts by telling ourselves that we can do it. It is about making things work rather than focusing on what we can't do and telling ourselves we can't. The basic concept is really that simple, but extremely powerful.

Not all your results will change instantly, but some will. I mean, it's not like a million dollars is going to appear out of thin air. But, if you really do want a million dollars, you can have it. However, firstly you have to believe that it is possible.