Failure is: Learning, (misspelled).Written by By Laura Burkey
Is it not true that when a 1 year old falls after attempting her first few steps, we call it learning, not failing, to walk?
When a 5 year old falls off his bike we call it learning, not failing, to ride a bike?
And, when a 20 year old doesn't get that first professional job she interviewed for, we call it learning, not failing, to make it in real world.
So, as you and I continue to progress forward in our life and stumble here or fall down there, isn't it also true that we are learning (not failing) to know, do, and be our best selves?
Learning, as you well know, is a verb, an act of doing something. It is not a static event or moment in time. Learning is consequence of acting, feeling, understanding and assessing an experience. And in this world, taking action, more often than not, is equated with ‘being on road to success’.
Equipped with this understanding of what failure really is: learning, and what learning is: a consequence of action, and that that action is only way to success, then you can easily come to conclusion that there really is no such thing as failure.
Take this one client's example: "I am terrified to speak in public because I might look, say, or do something stupid and thus fail miserably at my dream of being a professional speaker." I asked this client "Well, are you afraid to learn?"
See, if you like to learn. If you really enjoy seeking new ideas, information and skills, you can eliminate your belief (and fear) of failure forever. Here's how.
I asked my client to re-write her fear of failing statement as a want or wish to learn statement. Here's what she wrote: "I wish to learn" how to speak effectively and profoundly in public (and to all different types of groups) with ease, warmth, and grace. Approaching her goal in this way, my client's energy and focus changed almost immediately. By simply re-wording her goal, she put all her focus and speaking energy on what she wants (to speak effectively and with ease, warmth and grace) and not on what she doesn't want (to look, say or do something stupid in front of a group).
10 Things To Do This Summer (for a happier, healthier, easier life)Written by Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach
Looking for a summer project? How about working on who you are, and what kind of life you really want to live? Here’s some ideas.
1. Focus on “who”, not “what”. If you find that you’ve been stuck in a goal for a while, try restating it in “who” terms instead of what. For example, instead of saying “I want to lose 10 lbs.”, say “I want to be someone who is at a healthier weight for my age.” Instead of “I want to spend time with my kids”, say “I want to be someone who is a devoted parent.” Then ask yourself what actions would be fit with your desire to “be” instead of “get”.
2. Control-ability. Get clear on what you can really control and what is out of your control. You can’t control world politics, but you can vote. You can’t control terrorism, but you can be prepared in your own home. You can’t control construction crews on freeway, but you can control how much time you allot for a trip. Knowing what you can control and exercising that, and letting go of what you can’t, reduces stress related feelings immensely.
3. Be Generous. You know you haven’t worn that shirt in 2 years. Someone needs that shirt to keep warm on streets this winter, don’t let it just sit idle in your closet. Live from abundance, not lack. You’ll have other shirts. Share. Feel good about yourself for helping others less fortunate.
4. Give it a home. The biggest culprit for chronically lost items in home or office -- keys, remote, phone, scissors, batteries -- are that they don’t have a home. Just like teenagers, if you know where they are going to be, you don't have to waste time looking for them!
5. Establish routines. While they sound boring and confining, routines are actually freeing. Instead of being worried and anxious on Monday morning wondering if your credit-card bill is late again, you’ll feel calm knowing that you always pay bills on Wed. evening, so you have nothing to be concerned about. Routines take stress out!
6. Analyze it. Did you know that a full 80% of your problems come from 20% of your life? It’s true! Determine what that 20% is that’s affecting so much of your life, and start working to make it more efficient and orderly.