I know this Mom. She homeschools her 5 children, plus she tutors several other children that are dropped off at her house. AND she's a Pastor's wife. AND she's working on fixing up fixer-upper they just moved into. Whenever I've been in her house, it's been immaculate. Her children all have perfect manners. They all seem to be way ahead of their grade level. She's definitely gotta be a Homeschool Super Mom.
You're probably thinking of someone like this too, right? Someone that made you think, "Man, my son isn't reading as well as hers." or "My house isn't as clean as hers." Or a million other things.
And you probably discovered her when you were new to homeschooling. When you were already feeling uncertain in your new endeavors. You were already putting high expectations on yourself. You were constantly analyzing to be sure you were doing everything right. And as a result, you tend to be a little over-sensitive about what other's are accomplishing around you without giving enough credit to yourself.
So, it's really important that you remember (as a new homeschooler or a seasoned one) these basic principles that we all so easily forget:
"The 4 Basic Principles That Conquer 'Super-Moms' Syndrome"
Principle #1: We always see other's through glasses that make them larger than life. When I was a teenager, there was this lady in our church. Her hair and makeup was always perfect. She lived in a big, expensive home. She was very stylish and her kids were so cool. I always wanted to grow up and have that.
But I don't anymore.
I'd rather have my house that gets messy 5 minutes after it gets picked up, my hair that falls down into my eyes as I pick up my children, and my face that only gets makeup on Sunday. Why you may ask? Well, here's why. I'm happy. I love my family, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.
The lady I had idolized as a teen? She still has her perfect home and impeccable style. But, she has a marriage without love and children who are stuck up adults who ignore her totally.
I had seen her through glasses that made her larger than life. In end, she's not any bigger or greater than me. In fact, she probably wishes that she had my life!
So, if you start to think about someone else who seems to have life you want, STOP LOOKING! Instead, sit down and make a list of 100 good things in your life--from air you breathe, to heat in your home, to kisses from your child. I guarantee that you'll feel better about yourself that you ever have before.
Principle #2: Everyone has their own unique gift. Everyone has their own unique ability and we tend to notice in other's abilities that might be our "weak" ones.
For instance, if you think you're house is always messy, you'll seem to know all these people who have perfectly neat homes.
For an example from my life, I have a son who struggles with speech and it seems like every other parent within a 100 mile radius have children with perfect diction. But you know that's not way it is. My son might not pronounce every phonic sound correctly--yet!--but he has so many other gifts that hardly make that one seem important.
For instance, no one notices his speech. They always comment, though, how loving he is. Just running up to people and giving them hugs. And he has fun no matter what he does. Can you believe one day I actually heard myself saying, "Ryan. Stop that. Not everything is supposed to be fun." I had to step back and slap myself. Then I said, "Never mind. Mommy was wrong. Have as much fun as you can." And I learned a lesson from that.
So, forget about what homeschooled Jones' are doing. Discover your child's unique ability and relish in it and develop it and learn from it.
Right now, at end of your list of 100 things that you're grateful for, list 10 wonderful qualities or abilities for yourself and each of your children. Work on acknowledging, praising, and being thankful for all of your gifts. And don't forget to thank God that you got greatest kids ever born on this earth.
Principle #3: It doesn't matter what others think. I know, it seems easier said than done. But I guarantee that if you've actually taken time to write down your list of 100 things that you're grateful for and 10 wonderful qualities of your child, that you won't care what other people think because you will know and appreciate what you have.