Everybody WinsWritten by Debbie O'Meara
We all grew up playing games. In every game, there was a winner and a loser. For me to win, someone else (or lots of someone elses) had to lose. And it didn’t stop when we left playground. Did your teachers grade on a curve? Then every top grade had to be balanced out with a low one. How about getting that job, that promotion? There was a winner, and everyone else lost. Is it any wonder that we look at life as a zero-sum game, that every win comes at someone’s expense?When it comes to getting a given job, perhaps that’s so. But abundance principles teach us that that isn’t entire story. There is abundance, there is “winning,” to go around for everyone. The universe doesn’t choose some of us for success, favor some of us over others, doom some of us to mediocrity and dissatisfaction. And you know, intellectually, that God loves us all equally, right? So why is it so easy to believe that we will never have enough, or be enough? The concept of boundless abundance isn’t one we grow up with. We learn early that resources run out. And as humans, we are finite. We can only create so much, deliver so much. So whenever we are relying on humans, we face limits. And our experience has taught us not to trust other people to fill our every need. But we don't need to trust humans to deliver our abundance. We need to learn to trust God, to trust Divine Mind, to provide for us always. Is God so limited that He has already made all there is to make, that His abundance is finite, that we can only have what we take from someone else?
| | Pecked to Death By Ducks Written by Maureen Killoran
Ever been in a situation where it seems like minor criticisms are all you hear? Sure, there are things you could improve, you know that . . . but a constant peck, peck, peck of negative feedback sure doesn't motivate you to change! One of my mentors called this gradual chipping away at one's self esteem, "being pecked to death by ducks." How to deal with it? There are ducks outside my window as I write . . . and I know that one sure way to make them go away, is to stop feeding them. Ducks need to eat a lot, and eat often, to keep going. If they can't get food from you, they'll try someplace else. So . . . how can you make this work for your brand of "ducks"? What about figuring out what there is about you that's FEEDING them? For example, are you reacting to their pecks? (Psychologists tell us that some people use a negative approach to get attention they crave.) Are you working harder in response to their criticism? (When you do this, you are exhausting yourself and adding chocolate sauce to their dessert! The pecking won't end, I guarantee it.) I believe we feed our ducks when we take words of criticism home and brood. Most of us are programmed to take criticism much more seriously than we do praise, and many of us make almost a career out of taking criticism home to chew over . . . and over . . . and again. When Duck A criticizes me for DOING x, I have a choice. Take it home and make it last . . . or look criticism in face. If it's fair and valid, I may decide to stop x-ing (it's my choice). In fact, Duck A may have done me a good turn -- and one way to keep this in mind is to say (over and over if necessary), "It's about what I DO, it's not who I BE."
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