Let us begin with your physical being first, since that is what society looks at most. How do you feel about your physical appearance? Most likely, you will first point out things you do not like about yourself. Well, you are not alone. Almost everyone automatically puts himself or herself down first when looking in mirror. Have you ever stopped and observed things you do like about your physical self? You probably have not. It is time to start doing that. The next time you look at yourself, find physical qualities you like and accept in your being. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Well, truth is, we were not born with attitude of putting our selves down. We adapted and taught ourselves to do so when we watched what being perfect meant in eyes of others. We are constantly being flaunted with people who are thin, big on top, muscular, small waists and long legs on television and other advertisements, that we got convinced into believing that we must look a certain way in order to be admired, accepted and perfect in society. Remember, beauty and perfection is in eye of beholder and you should be that first beholder.

When you look at yourself in a mirror, all you see is outside, but who is that person looking back at you? What does that person like and dislike? What goals does that person have? What are his or her hobbies? How could another being get to know you, if you do not even know yourself? What do you have to offer? Nothing if you lack knowledge and information of who you are! This is why going through a self-check is important. You must dig deeper than your physical existence in order to realize your true self. Enter your mind and soul and find out what really makes you person you are. If you have nothing to offer as far as your being is concerned, how can you have a relationship? You cannot!

YOUR DE-TALK CENTER

Here is an excellent and effective way to improve your listening. Find your Listening Center, a place and a way your body can help you listen. Do just three things to put yourself in your Listening Center.

SHUSH, JJ

Remember Judgment Jabber (JJ), that internal voice that judges you? It can be a mighty powerful impediment to listening. It's voice inside that tells you are doing something incorrectly, or you can't do something, or you are not doing well enough, or someone does not like you, or you are ignorant, or your hair is wrong. Recognize that voice?

Some of us are not aware that Judgment Jabber is talking to us and competing for our attention when we are trying to listen. Or that it is making us so nervous that we cannot listen well.

By becoming aware of voice, we very often lessen its negative effects. We can even talk to it. Give it a name and ask it to be quiet for a while. "Jezebel, I am busy listening right now. Shhh." You will be surprised at how recognition can calm it. That's first step in finding your Listening Center.

"The greatest motivational act one person can do for another is to listen." Roy E. Moody

DIS-ARMOR YOURSELF

We all have places in our body where we hold our tension -- our personal body armor. Mine is usually in my jaw. This tension can be a great interference with listening. However, if we are conscious of it, we can catch this tension when it begins to take hold, stop it and relax it. Check for your body armor when you are listening. Relaxing it is second step in going to your Listening Center.

"Trees are earth's endless effort to speak to listening heaven." Rabindranath Tagore

THE LISTEN POSITION