What are usual resolutions? Lose weight Stop smoking Stop cussing Read more, and watch less TV Stay on a budget Exercise

A few years ago, I worked in an office building that had a health club attached. Beginning January 1st, parking garage would be full, and cars would be lined up a half mile on road side. People would cruise around in their cars waiting for close-in spots to open up so they could go in and exercise. I never got that! This would last until mid-January—when everything would go back to normal.

The list of resolutions above are all very worthy endeavors. It has been said, “If you keep doing what you are currently doing, you’ll keep getting what you are currently getting.” If you sincerely want to make a good go at your resolutions this year, I would like to give you some steps you can take to keep your resolve and stay motivated.

1. Write your resolutions down. You know this; you hear it every year. Write them down. But first, dream awhile. Make a dream list. What would you wish for yourself if you had no limitations? Jot down list, let it flow, don't argue with yourself. Now, what one great thing would you dare to dream if success was certain? Record your ultimate goal, and some short- and mid-range goals for progress measurement. Carry list around with you everywhere you go. Review it often to remind yourself. Henry David Thoreau said, "Have you built your castles in air? Good, that's where they should be built. Now, go to work and build foundations under them."

2. Set a date. Set a date on which you will have completed goal.

Do you have internal rules about how you expect people in your life to treat you?  Are you comfortable speaking up for yourself when someone crosses one of those lines?  Are you able to say no when you don't want to participate in something you've been asked to consider? 

Your ability to speak up for yourself, and to say no are directly related to your ability to set boundaries.  In this lesson, I'd like to explore what a boundary is, and identify where you may need to set and enforce boundaries in your life.

Boundaries

A boundary is a limit, or a behavioral line which cannot be crossed.  The manner in which you allow others to interact with you is governed by interpersonal boundaries you've defined in your life, and your enforcement of these boundaries is primary way you protect your emotional self.

When I work with someone to establish a personal system of boundaries we focus on three areas of behavior.  They include; manner in which you are spoken to, requests that are made of you, and physical space surrounding you.  Let's take a look at each of these areas.

Word Boundaries
The manner in which another individual speaks to you is reflective of both level of respect that person has for you, and standard of behavior person holds themselves to.  While you cannot impact standards of another person, you can require a standard of communication for their interaction with you.

I'll use my own boundaries as an example in this area.  I will not allow another person to raise their voice when speaking to me, to speak sarcastically or caustically to me, or to direct mean spirited teasing at me.  I have clearly defined my parameters for acceptable behavior in this area, and I am willing to enforce them when necessary.

Requirement Boundaries
Requirement boundaries are applicable to expectations that another person has about how you will allocate and invest your resources.  When another individual makes a request of you which you'd prefer to decline, you're in your requirement boundary zone.

I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't support people in your life.  I am suggesting that in event that you'd rather not participate in something, and you find yourself doing so out of a sense of obligation, you're not being true to yourself   It is in these instances that you may want to consider establishing clear boundaries.

Physical Boundaries
Have you ever had a conversation with an individual who continually moved into your space?  Have you known a person who repetitively touched you as you spoke with them?  These people lacked an understanding of physical boundaries.