Eight simple anger management tipsWritten by David Leonhardt
"The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going." One of biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:
-Anger impedes our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness are incompatible. -Anger sends marriages and other family relationships off-course. -Anger means lost business, because it destroys relationships. -Anger also means losing business that you could have won in a more gracious mood. -Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress often increases anger). -We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder to process information.
People are beginning to wake up to dangers of anger and need for anger management programs and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.
For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:
Ask yourself this question: "Will object of my anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.
Ask yourself: "What is worst consequence of object of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.
Imagine yourself doing same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?
How to Cope When Someone You Love is DeployedWritten by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach
When we must part with a loved one, we have physical and emotional reactions beyond our control. Our emotional intelligence skills can help us manage them. Having someone you love deployed is extremely stressful.
Newborns separated from their mothers show us extremes of "protest-despair behavior." When infant is separated, body reacts, pumping out stress hormones that affect nervous system and muscle groups. Cortisol, 'stress' hormone, can increase 10x, and gastrointestinal functions are upset. Then there's withdrawal, heart rate slows, body temperature lowers (presumably attempts to "survive"), and immune system gets out of kilter.
Any separation from a loved one during our lifetime will mimic this reaction because we're humans, because we love, because we bond. The price we pay is that separation is painful.
At same time, if person being deployed is your lover, you'll be deprived of oxytocin, that delicious love-hormone that makes us feel good even thinking about our loved one.