"Eight Steps to Taking Control of Every Situation in Your Life!"

Written by Terry Rich Hartley, Ph.D.


Like it or not, we are all gladiators. We go to sleep and wake up in a social arena from which there is no escape. Challenge upon challenge confronts us, walls restrain us, and a mob of spectators mocks, sneers, or cheers us. Each and every day brings new battles whether we want them or not and whether we're up to them or not. Life forces us to face one skirmish after another - no choice inrepparttar matter.

What we can choose, though, is which kind of gladiator to be, victor or victim.

Being a victim in this social arena translates into having bad relationships.

Most people are victims - victims of their own perceptions.

That's because people don't develop and listen to their own unique, authentic self. Rather they allow their mental spectators - those little tyrants rattling around in their heads - to tell them second by second how to fight their battles, what they can and cannot do. These tyrants applaud and they hiss, they encourage and they discourage.

These mental spectators arerepparttar 131004 memories ofrepparttar 131005 judgments of real-life people. For example, it'srepparttar 131006 memory of your aunt saying, "I hope you marry someone rich, because you're not going far on brains." It'srepparttar 131007 echo of your father growling, "You've got a back problem - no spine."

And their influence over your relationships can't be overestimated.

Millions of people acceptrepparttar 131008 judgments of their mental spectators asrepparttar 131009 truth and, therefore,repparttar 131010 mediocre results that come from believing those judgments.

With so many people living this way,repparttar 131011 question becomes, is thisrepparttar 131012 way I have to live? Fortunately,repparttar 131013 answer is not unless you want to.

Once you identify your mental spectators - and your interactions with them - you can move beyond victim and assumerepparttar 131014 role of victor.

What it takes are eight steps for getting command, eight steps you can apply to most any situation you want altered. You can positively influence your relationships, your employment options, any aspect of your life.

Let's look atrepparttar 131015 steps.

1. Define What Ails You. Ask, what's my problem? Am I a jealous weasel, troubled that others have what I want? Am I ticked off most ofrepparttar 131016 time? Am I sad and whiney? Anxiety ridden? Moody? All ofrepparttar 131017 above? Without this step, you're doomed. It will take personal courage, but you won't get results without identifying what ails you.

2. Discoverrepparttar 131018 Effects. Ask, how are my problems affecting my life? Am I a lousy parent, a friendless dork, a backstabber, a slut, a drunk, a junkie? Am I none ofrepparttar 131019 above, but someone who is less than I could be? This step requires absolute self-honesty, butrepparttar 131020 truth will help set you free.

3. Seekrepparttar 131021 Source. Ask, from where are my problems coming? Who are my real and my mental spectators? What do my mental spectators look like, say, and do? Exactly who or what is keeping me from taking command of my life? This could be one ofrepparttar 131022 most incredible experiences of your life. You will look intorepparttar 131023 abyss and see who is looking back.

So What Does Emotional Intelligence Look Like in Real Life?

Written by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach


1.High IQ, Low EQ: A student.

There’s a story going aroundrepparttar Chicago area about a student atrepparttar 131001 U. of Chicago last year. At that venerable high-IQ institution, it’s still a graduation requirement that each student pass a swimming test. A student showed up to takerepparttar 131002 test and, 3 hours later, after they’d dragged him out of Lake Michigan andrepparttar 131003 EMS had left, they asked him why he’d shown up to takerepparttar 131004 test when he didn’t know how to swim.

”I read about it,” he said.

2.High IQ, Low EQ: Frank.

Ph.D. in Engineering, designs military defense systems forrepparttar 131005 government, has a net worth inrepparttar 131006 millions, and top security clearance, and is on his 5th wife.

3.Average IQ, High EQ: Dr. Bob

Bob has an IQ of 125, low for a physician. He was told repeatedly he wasn’t med-school material, but his social skills, focus, and determination made his becoming a doctor a reality. And what a gift torepparttar 131007 profession! He has a marvelous “bedside manner.” He’s grateful he can practice medicine – when wasrepparttar 131008 last time you encountered a physician with that attitude??

4.High IQ, High EQ: William Pickering,repparttar 131009 Rocket Man.

Ph.D., Physics, CalTech. In 1957, when Russia launched Sputnik, Pickering was working forrepparttar 131010 Jet Propulsion Lab. In 2 months,repparttar 131011 Naval Research Laboratory launchedrepparttar 131012 Vanguard, which underrepparttar 131013 glare of international media, blew up onrepparttar 131014 launch pad.

Fortunately, Pickering had been working since Sputnik on their own satellite. ExplorerI was launched less than 4 months after Sputnik.

To bring this off, Pickering worked James van Allen, and Wernher von Braun.

(What's that sound I hear? Egos colliding???)

Imaginerepparttar 131015 pressure and EQ it took to pull this off withrepparttar 131016 government,repparttar 131017 military andrepparttar 131018 American public breathing down their necks.

Which of these towering, credentialed geniuses gotrepparttar 131019 leadership job? (And correct me if I’m wrong, but Einstein was also alive atrepparttar 131020 time.) The one withrepparttar 131021 EQ!

5.High IQ, Low EQ: John, a lawyer.

His girl friend, my client, became increasingly displeased with his “cluelessness” and lack of demonstrative affection. Finally she lost her temper and yelled, “Can’t you just send me some flowers?”

”You don’t understand,” he replied. “I don’t know how to.”

6.Low IQ, Low EQ: Mike Tyson.

7.High IQ, Low EQ: Harry, a lawyer.

A lawyer I worked with. Told his secretary, a single parent with 4 children underrepparttar 131022 age of 6 and no child support, who earned $28,000 a year, when her second-hand car broke down, “Well, if you’d just buy a new Lexus like I have …”

Were his office projects sabotaged? What do you think?

8.High IQ, High EQ: Ray Garrett, Jr., former chairman ofrepparttar 131023 SEC.

The man under whom it all shook down after Watergate inrepparttar 131024 70s. The stock market was at its all-time low.

He was interviewed live on “Wall Street Week,”repparttar 131025 night before he deregulated stock commissions. Rukheyser, hoping to ^nail him^, said, “And what will you do if this doesn’t work?”

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