Written by By Rev. James L. Snyder

The Gracious Mistress ofrepparttar Parsonage and Yours Truly have an agreement as ironclad as any legal document inrepparttar 118116 world court. Simply put,repparttar 118117 contract is as follows: I will eat broccoli when she eats liver. I'm on pretty good ground here because I know she abhors liver and will not allow me bringing it into our domicile in any form.

In fact, if I consume any liver I'm sometimes not allowed home until it has completely gone through my system, which can take up to three days depending on my physical condition atrepparttar 118118 time.

With this in mind, I had a vicious attack of liveritis last week and needed a fix of nicely fried chicken livers. Whenever such a malady assaults me, there is only one thing for me to do, and I know what it is.

I head forrepparttar 118119 Slurp ‘N Burp Café. Nobody puts together a mess of chicken livers as tender and juicy asrepparttar 118120 Slurp ‘N Burp. Whenever I can escaperepparttar 118121 Misses' notice, I slip away and enjoy a plate of these delightful delicacies that just melt in my mouth.

Last Thursday I set out to gratify my craving when an incredible thing happened.

About halfway through a plate ofrepparttar 118122 most delicious chicken livers this side ofrepparttar 118123 Marriage Supper ofrepparttar 118124 Lamb, a man walked intorepparttar 118125 restaurant.

I simply could not believe my eyes. He wasrepparttar 118126 spitting image of a friend of mine. The trouble was, my friend died a little over a year ago and this man could have passed for his twin.

Someone said everyone has a double somewhere and I was a believer; at least in this case.

As this man walked by, I nodded and he touched his finger to his hat —repparttar 118127 same way my friend use to. It was one of those uncanny moments you never forget. A rush of memories flooded my mind as I thought of my old friend. He wasrepparttar 118128 original Florida Cracker if there ever was one.

His family moved to Miami in 1920 when he was six years old. It was a different Florida in those days, as he often reminded me.

He was an outdoorsman torepparttar 118129 end. As a young lad, he and his family would camp inrepparttar 118130 wild Florida swamps and live offrepparttar 118131 land. Not like people do today in luxurious RVs, with allrepparttar 118132 latest conveniences; hot showers, color TV and a fully stocked kitchen.

No siree. My friend lived offrepparttar 118133 land. They ate what they caught withrepparttar 118134 rod or shot withrepparttar 118135 gun, cooking it over an open campfire, "The wayrepparttar 118136 Good Lord fully intended," he would say as he remembered those days.

Inrepparttar 118137 trunk of his car, he always had his fishing gear for, "Ya never know whenrepparttar 118138 urge to go fishin' will come on and it's always best to be prepared." He was a Boy Scout and as such was fully prepared for any eventuality.


Written by Victoria Elizabeth

Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004.


It seems that we can longer languish inrepparttar reveries of "Christmas" anymore.

"Christmas" is now "persona non grata" unless it comes with lotsa ka-ching and consumer clatta!

"Christmas" has been replaced by non-threatening "happy holiday" greetings, profitable "holiday" gift cards, and a new medical disease calledrepparttar 118115 "ho ho ho" syndrome (I'll let you figure that one out).

Gone arerepparttar 118116 days when we can enjoy such pleasures as "Christmas" carols, "Christmas" crackers or heaven forbid even "Christmas" trees, without a knock atrepparttar 118117 door from a politically-correct enforcement officer dressed in an bright blue suit with gold braid and a matching hat plus a perplexing smiley frown on his face.

Although I cannot take credit forrepparttar 118118 witty work below, I thought I would pass it along to all those who still believe in a reindeer named Rudolph, jolly St. Nick (aka Santa Claus/Kris Kringle), jingling bells full of comfort and joy, not to mention a mouth-watering slice of home-made hot minced pie.


'Twasrepparttar 118119 night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves," "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labour conditions atrepparttar 118120 North Pole Were alleged byrepparttar 118121 union to stiflerepparttar 118122 soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released torepparttar 118123 wilds byrepparttar 118124 Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous byrepparttar 118125 E.P.A. And people had started to call forrepparttar 118126 cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur-trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show yourepparttar 118127 strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose . And had gone on Geraldo, in front ofrepparttar 118128 nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half ofrepparttar 118129 reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

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