Now this is real American Dream! Iím here to let you know that it is totally possible to lose all fat you want while eating nothing but junk food. The only hitch is that all fat you want to lose is going to have to be zero!
Here are some tongue-in-cheek (or burger-in-belly) suggestions for how you can turn even greasiest, sugariest, most overprocessed calorie bomb into lean, mean diet food.
How is this done? Hereís a hint: itís all in how you choose to look at food...
1. Eat donuts instead of solid pastries. You will be saving a tremendous number of calories by eating something with a hole in middle. You can save upwards of 3 to 5 calories per pastry by doing this. That means if you eat 10 donuts, youíve saved yourself almost 50 calories! Besides, everyone knows nuts are good for you...
2. French fries can help prevent heart attacks. It is a fact that French people suffer fewer heart attacks and have lower rates of heart disease. French fries are obviously from France, therefore it naturally follows that French fries can prevent heart disease.
3. Pizza is one of healthiest foods on planet. There are many reasons for this:
-The bleached flour in crust sucks up all grease that drips down from toppings, trapping it so you donít see it while youíre eating. If you donít see it when you eat it, it has no calories.
-Itís round (stay with me here). Because square-shaped foods have corners, they contain a lot more calories than round foods. To save even more calories, cut a hole in center of pizza (refer back to #1 for full details).
-The cheese on pizza is loaded with calcium - even more than Tums youíre going to need after eating whole thing.
-You can easily reduce your servings without sacrificing enjoyment. Instead of cutting pizza into 8 slices, try cutting it into only 4. Youíve just eaten HALF number of slices you ate before! Imagine how many calories youíll save by doing that!
-Vegetables covered in grease are still vegetables. Never mind that all nutrition has been baked out of them, youíre still getting youíre recommended daily servings of veggies.