Downloading Spyware Removers: Think Before, not AfterWritten by Alexandra Gamanenko
Just imagine: you are walking, say, towards your car, and all of a sudden somebody comes up to you and begins... polishing your shoes. Or even better example--a guy you've never met before opens hood of your car, says engine is broken and tries to persuade you to add some gadget your car desperately needs--and now! What you'd do if such a crazy thing happened? Wouldn't you readily accept help, paid for it and thank this unknown altruist for his generosity? Why not? Lots of people are doing exactly same on their PCs. A pop-up ad offering you a pop-up blocker--funny, isn't it? With those numerous spyware removers it isn't even funny. Obtrusive advertising in itself is not necessarily suspicious (it might be just a sign that company's marketing director is stupid), but some dishonest software vendors are applying deceitful tactics in marketing their anti-spy solutions (often of low or zero quality), trying to make money quick. Almost any product can be faked, but with software it is especially easy. It is also very tempting to take advantage of huge demand for security solutions without much effort. The recent story with a placebo product Spyware Assassin proves it. What a simple but efficient (and disgusting) scheme--offer users a free system scan, which is bound to find spyware (even if there isn't any--because no scan actually takes place), then sell them a "solution" to this problem for only $30. This product (Spyware Assassin) seems to be about as fake as spyware found on a "clean" PC. As a result, Federal Trade Commission (FTC) recently took action against MaxTheater--the company which distributed Spyware Assassin. The site used for selling this bogus anti-spyware software has been taken down. Users who were literally forced to buy Spy Wiper or Spy Deleter, or those who remember notorious litigation in fall 2004, can say a lot of things about authors and sellers of such programs--if written down, their remarks can make paper blush. In short, Seismic Entertainment Productions, Inc., another vendor prosecuted by FTC, applied even more impudent tactics than MaxTheater. Computers were infected with real spyware and adware to be later "cured" with Spy Wiper or Spy Deleter. The spyware changed consumers' home pages, changed their search engines, and generated constant flow of pop-up ads.
| | What Women Want From Men, Dating and RelationshipsWritten by Toni Coleman, LCSW
Dear Dating Coach- I have been dating a woman for almost three months. Lately, I have been confused about her behavior and need help to understand what is going on with us and what I can (should) do about it. Our relationship has gone from her calling me "sweetie" and asking for more intimacy; to telling me that I am pressuring her and need to stop pushing so hard. I have no problem going at whatever pace she is comfortable with, and I have told her this. In past few weeks she has cancelled plans on several occasions, saying that she needs time to think because she feels afraid and uncertain about things. When I ask her to share her feelings with me, she becomes defensive and asks me to leave her alone. I have told her to do what she needs to and I will be here when she is ready. After several days of no contact she did call and ask me about my weekend plans. This is becoming very confusing. Do you have any ideas about what I could do to break this cycle and/or what she may be afraid or concerned about? When I received this email, my first thought was that problem seemed obvious- at least to me. Her feelings had changed. The reasons were unclear, and somehow they didn't seem to be as important as simple truth that it was over. But perhaps they really were. After all, if he could gain some understanding of what went wrong it could help him to make right decisions now and avoid repeating this pattern in future relationships. Therefore, my advice to him included a recommendation that he ask her for honest feedback regarding her feelings about him and relationship. Armed with a carefully scripted and thought out approach to subject, he was increasing his chances of opening up a useful dialogue with her that at very least, could offer him insight and closure he needed. After careful preparation, he arranged for a talk about "them". Things got off to an ok start, however she soon began to act defensively and then shut down, essentially refusing to discuss her feelings or answer his questions directly and/or with candor. This left him with a decision. Should he step back from pursing this discussion with her, just maintaining status quo; or should he take action based on what he believed was problem and what would be in his best interest over time. He struggled with making this choice because he was able to rationalize her behavior and make up plausible excuses for what was happening. This left him with (false) hope and a feeling of powerlessness. As a dating coach, I receive (and answer) many emails from men like one above. My advice is based on knowledge and expertise gained from years of experience in working with complex dynamics that occur between people. However, as world of meeting and dating continues to evolve; I have found it useful to talk to people who are out there living it, and gather their insights and observations. I asked a group of 20-30 something, professional, single women to share their thoughts and reactions to above email. Our discussion also covered their likes/dislikes, turn-ons and offs and qualities they look for in a potential partner. I wanted candid, unedited comments that I could share with this writer and with all guys out there who are confused by behavior of women they are meeting and dating. Their feedback on email question was fairly consistent. His girlfriend's feelings had changed. They believed she wanted to break things off but didn't know how to or was uncomfortable being bad guy. One woman shared that in at least one of her past relationships, she had behaved very badly towards him, hoping HE would end it. Another woman stated, "There are women out there who act very lovingly in order to get a guy, then become who they really are once they have him." All agreed that he should end it and give himself chance to meet someone who is ready for a relationship and truly wants one with him. On subject of men who turn them on, women came up with similar attributes and ranked them in order of importance. Sense of humor and intelligence topped list. We discussed these as critical components in friendship and compatibility. Attributes such as stable, mature, positive, loving and good father material all weighed in equally as close seconds with 30 somethings. The younger women stated that they have not given much thought to importance of those things yet. All of woman said that their ideal guy had to be right type, even though two groups differed somewhat in their preferred type. Adjectives like clean cut, polished, conservative, not too conservative, very confident and with a certain style of dress- were used to describe Mr. Right. All of women said that it was important to them that their man be assertive, ambitious and able to earn a good living. They felt this was important in order to have a family someday and/or have more lifestyle options available to them. When one of women shared her need for a good listener, who "doesn't try to fix problem", all of women said, "yes" in a strong chorus.
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