It’s Tuesday 2:00 a.m. and you are awakened by your 4-year old daughter’s blood-curdling scream. A mother’s worst fear of someone hurting her baby is racing through your mind. You quickly throw
blankets off and stumble down hall to your child’s bedroom. As you enter her room she is huddled in a ball on her bed, blanket clutched tightly to her chest, and tears are streaming down her face. Her body is rigid, and her eyes are glued to closet door. You go to her bedside and it’s like hugging a board as your embrace her stiff body. Through her sobs she says, “Mommy, there’s a monster in closet and he is making a lot of noise. He’s going to get me.”
Sooner or later your child will have nightmares too. Knowing how to lovingly comfort your child and by dealing with nightmares together you will save yourself from numerous sleepless nights. You and your child will get your necessary beauty sleep and be energized in morning to begin your day completed rested.
In my 34 years of being actively involved with children, I have found stressed-out parents frantically searching for resources to help them raise happy, confident, and well-adjusted kids. Parenting is not something you do alone. Here are some things to avoid and simple games to play with your child to help them change their nightmares into ‘sweet dreams.’
Bring your child to bed with you – This is very tempting to do in middle of night but making your bed family bed is only a temporary fix and will make things worst in long run.
Instead, have your child camp out on floor next to your bed with their favorite pillow, blanket, or stuffed animal. Sleeping in your room will make your child feels safe knowing you are close, but also communicates boundaries. Teach your child these boundaries or limits and they will gradually want to return to their own room to sleep.
Tell them there is nothing to be afraid of – Reasoning with a scared child in wee hours of morning is futile. You’re half asleep and your child’s fears of unknown are real. Strange noises, shadows, and darkness of night are common causes of nightmares. Often times they are frozen stiff and can’t move to go find you and that scares them even more.
To explain strange noises, take your child’s hand and show them what is making noise. Be sure to turn lights on as your go and also point out shadows that disappear when lights are turned on. Another great way to explain shadows is to point out shadows during daylight and explain what is making shadow. For example, his or her owns shadow, trees, bushes, a toy, or family dog.
A great game to play with your child during day is to first blindfold them, then create noises. Your child needs to guess what sounds are and where they are coming from. This not only helps them to identify typical household noises but also develops their sense of hearing.
Purchase a night light for your child’s bedroom or leave a light on in another room such as hallway or bathroom. Having more light will soften your child’s frozen state and allow them to move about and come to find you. It also comforts them to know that they can see and no one will have chance to come sneaking in their room.
Tell them that monsters aren’t real and don’t exist - A child’s innocence and imagination are precious; both need to be handled with extra care so that you don’t destroy them in any way, shape, or form.
The best way to handle monsters is to ask your child questions. What does monster look like? Is monster big or small? What color is monster? Is monster friendly? What does monster want? How old do you think monster is? Does monster look like an animal or us? This shows your child that you believe their monster truly exists and encourages them to face their monster by painting a picture using their creative imagination. It draws you into their fantasy world and builds a strong, bonding relationship.
