Don't Look for Your Soul Mate

Written by Rinatta Paries

If you look for a soul mate, you are likely to find a relationship that leaves you bewildered and alone soon after it begins. Instead, look for a partner and a best friend to whom you are attracted.

I hear it over and over again; "We were so compatible...we fell in love at first sight...we committed to each other right way...we had so much in common…it is as if we have known each other all of our lives...etc." Yetrepparttar relationship fell apart, my soul mate's behavior radically changed. What happened?

What happens when you look for a soul mate? You look for someone with whom you can feel at home, right away. You look for someone who will understand you and give you what you want and need, right away. You look for an extraordinary sense of recognition, connection and attraction.

Instead, what you find is someone who is willing to melt with you, to let go of boundaries that definerepparttar 101919 self. You find someone who is willing for a time to be for you whomever and whatever you want. And you melt with him or her, let go of your own boundaries, become for him or her what is wanted or needed. Thenrepparttar 101920 two of you feel like soul mates. But this can only go on for a time, and often a short time -- about 6 weeks to 3 months, sometimes even less.

Eventually, both of you regain a sense of self, a sense of personal boundaries, needs and wants, distinctly different from one another. Your "soul mate" may not meet your needs and give you attention as readily as he or she once did. You realize you may not be as compatible as you thought you were. You find out things about each other you cannot accept. One or both people pull away, often without communicating torepparttar 101921 otherrepparttar 101922 true reasons forrepparttar 101923 distance. Eventuallyrepparttar 101924 relationship ends.

If you want to avoid having this kind of experience altogether, look for a person who hasrepparttar 101925 capacity to become you partner and best friend, to whom you are attracted. The key words here being "partner" and "best friend" and "attracted." As in someone you can partner with to build a life, someone who will support, encourage and cheer you on, to whom you are attracted. All three of these qualities must be present for you to haverepparttar 101926 kind of relationship you dream of.

Stress Prevention in a Word - "No"

Written by Robert Cooper

We teach our petsrepparttar meaning ofrepparttar 101918 word. We quickly learned its meaning as toddlers when we reached for mommy or daddy's car keys. Even an anti-drug campaign was built aroundrepparttar 101919 word. Yet, now that we're older, wiser and more responsible,repparttar 101920 word struggles to break free from our own lips when we need to use itrepparttar 101921 most. That word? "No".

Just saying "no" is essential in dealing with, managing, and even preventing stress. Knowing your limitations can prevent you from digging yourself into holes when you realize you can't live up torepparttar 101922 commitment you took on.

It's funny, when we were children, no diplomacy was required. Little Joey would decide that our favorite toy was to become communal property, without our prior notification. When he grabbed for our precious play-thing, "no" just seemed to flow from our lips, and if that didn't do it, we added about 5 more no's . How easy it was back then.

Of course, just saying "no" (and nothing else) to your boss is not wise when they drop one more project on your desk -- adding torepparttar 101923 5 they've already given you. Just saying "no" can be mistaken as subordination. More diplomacy is required!

But, there's a point when we can only take on so much. In order to prevent stress, we have to know our limitations.

What if my performance onrepparttar 101924 job, reputation amongst co-workers and friends is unfairly based on one instance of "just saying no"? ============================ If you are known for being a responsible and reliable person, people tend to take you more seriously when you just can't do something for them. Your reputation of integrity and reliability won't disappear in a "poof" of smoke if you say no to one request.

One thing I never hesitate to do is let people knowrepparttar 101925 exact reasons why I have to turn down a request -- essential when refusing a request from people over you in authority.

Doesn'trepparttar 101926 pile of work in my in-box say I can't take another assignment? ============================ Having a desk with piles of work doesn't say you're busy - it just says you're unorganized or possibly inefficient - and that you need time management and organization help!

Think of yourself as a manufacturing plant ============================ Treat your schedule as importantly asrepparttar 101927 job schedule in a manufacturing plant. A plant production manager always knows what needs to get done, what's been accomplished and would never increase production ifrepparttar 101928 workers can't keep up withrepparttar 101929 workflow. It would look bad on their ability to managerepparttar 101930 workers,repparttar 101931 employees would get disgruntled andrepparttar 101932 inability to fulfill orders would eroderepparttar 101933 company's integrity and reputation.

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