Well, if you have, you're not alone, and problem may not be of your making. The way I see it, technology marketers on Information Superhighway are spinning their wheels in a morass of jargon and hype. The result? A phenomenal tendency to say much and communicate little. When these Marketer Persons put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, who *^&* knows what they're talking about? Not me, and certainly not end user, person who might actually want to buy product, if they knew what it was and what it cost and how they might use it

For example, after spending ten minutes trying to interpret a press release that somebody sent me, I gave up in despair and went to company's Web site, where, it was promised, full details would be provided. What did I find? You guessed it. After clicking my way through several pages of slowly downloading Web files, only thing I knew for sure was name of owner of company and fact that they were launching a wonderful new "solution" that they believed would solve somebody's problem. But who's problem? And how? Don't ask me. How much does it cost? That's top secret information, apparently. How do I buy it, supposing for some perverted reason I wanted to purchase a mystery product? Classified information.

Here's a tip, gratis, for all you people who are trying to promote, sell or market technology related products. FORGET THE JARGON AND DESCRIBE YOUR PRODUCT IN A WAY THAT EVEN AUNT MABLE COULD UNDERSTAND! Because just maybe Aunt Mable might buy it if you lost spin and told her exactly what it is you've got for sale.

Let me give you an example. Wade through today's collection of junk mail. Do you see anything from McDonalds inviting you to phone them and ask for details about their proprietary, integrated nutritional solution, developed in-house and designed to accommodate your daily basal metabolic requirements for dietary supplements? My guess is you won't find that. You will find information about their HAMBURGERS AND FRIES. You'll even find prices mentioned right up front for whole world to see.

Huh?

My father asked me that question more than 25 years ago. I still remember it. Why? Because it's a ridiculous question.

A famous comedian in 1950s used to ask people, "Got a banana?" The question might make sense if asked in right situation, but he asked it everywhere. I've forgotten name of comedian, but I still recall his question. Why? Because it's strange.

As I write this, I am creating new business cards for myself. I decided to add a confusing line to it. After some fun brainstorming with my girlfriend, I settled on, "Ask me about monkey."

Why is "Ask me about monkey?" worth putting on my business card? As with my father's question and comedian's question, it stops your brain in its tracks. It makes you pause. It makes you focus on ME. The theory is that once you stop someone with a confusing line, you can then implant a hypnotic command right after it.

In other words, if I write something like, "Apples desk fly dirt," and then follow it with, "Read my new ebook," chances are very high that you are going to want to read my new ebook.