Donít Blow Your Nose In The Water Fountain

Written by Nick Nilsson

We all knowrepparttar general rules ofrepparttar 118286 gym: donít droprepparttar 118287 weights, wipe your sweat offrepparttar 118288 machines when youíre done, etc. But do you know all aboutrepparttar 118289 more "colorful", lesser known rules ofrepparttar 118290 gym?

NOTE: These rules are JOKES! If you ever see any of these rules posted at any gym you ever go to, please take a picture for me!

1. Donít blow your nose inrepparttar 118291 water fountain.

This is a crude habit and can contribute torepparttar 118292 spread of colds and viruses. Besides, thatís whatrepparttar 118293 gym towels are for...

2. No smoking onrepparttar 118294 cardio machines.

Those little circular spots are water-bottle holders, not ashtrays. If you need a cigarette that badly when youíre working out, tape one torepparttar 118295 pulldown bar and take a drag on it as a reward for each rep you do.

3. When spotting someone on bench press, be sure to wipe your face first.

You are not a stalactite, and dripping sweat into someoneís eye is not a good way to make friends.

4. If you choose to wear cologne or perfume torepparttar 118296 gym, please donít marinate in it.

Ifrepparttar 118297 person onrepparttar 118298 stair machine next to you lights up a cigarette, you could both be seriously injured.

5. Those stands that have allrepparttar 118299 weight plates on them should not be used for holding your donuts.

Your donuts will end up with a terrible metallic taste that evenrepparttar 118300 coffee in your water bottle wonít be able to get out of your mouth.

6. The Crunch Machine is not a vending machine for candy bars.

Tenderizing Meat and Other Uses For Home Exercise Equipment

Written by Nick Nilsson

Almost everyone has bought home exercise equipment at some point in their life, be it a few rusty dumbells at a garage sale allrepparttar way to a complicated new home gym.

But how many people continue to use it consistently? Here are some uses (that you should never, ever actually take seriously, of course!) you may not have thought of for your forgotten purchases.

1. Dumbells - The original dark basement booby trap.

* Dumbells make great childrenís toys. They are, of course, heavier and more dangerous than a barbie doll or Play-Doh (tm) and are not really as exciting as a video game but they certainly are cheap and hard to break.

* Tenderizing meat - bashrepparttar 118285 meat withrepparttar 118286 dumbell repeatedly. Great shoulder and arm exercise too! May increaserepparttar 118287 iron content of your food significantly.

* Bowling - set them on end and use them as pins. You will need a really heavy ball for this.

2. Ab Rollers - These arerepparttar 118288 abdominal training devices that feature a head rest attached to a frame that you set your arms on so you can rock, rock, rock your way to six-pack abs.

* Roll cage for a toboggan - forrepparttar 118289 safety-minded parent. Protect your child fromrepparttar 118290 heartbreak of a rollover accident onrepparttar 118291 sled hill by having him or her carry this while going down. Nevermind that they wonít be able steer because theyíre holding ontorepparttar 118292 thing...

* Tenderizing meat - layrepparttar 118293 meat down belowrepparttar 118294 head rest and rock violently back and forth on top of it.

* Baby toy hanger - nothing good on tv? Hook some old christmas tree ornaments fromrepparttar 118295 top crossbar and set your baby underneath. Youíll both be amused for hours!

3. Thighmaster (tm) - popularized by Suzanne Somers, no closet is complete without this device. You simply set it between your legs and squeeze!

* Keeps doors closed - jam it inrepparttar 118296 corner behind a door. When you openrepparttar 118297 door, it squeezesrepparttar 118298 spring. When you releaserepparttar 118299 door,repparttar 118300 stored tension closesrepparttar 118301 door automatically behind you! At 40 miles per hour!!!

* Tenderizing meat - setrepparttar 118302 meat onrepparttar 118303 counter, squeezerepparttar 118304 Thighmaster shut with your hands then releaserepparttar 118305 spring on top ofrepparttar 118306 meat like a bear trap.

4. The Ab-Doer (tm) - This isrepparttar 118307 chair-like ab training device that resembles a chair with no back.

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