Domestic Violence: The Fact Behind The Myths

Written by Scott Shaper

Domestic Violence: The Facts Behind The Myths.

     Domestic Violence is one of today's most common assault type crimes. It seems as if almost everyone either knows someone who was, or is a victim of domestic violence. Or, they either are, or were a victim themselves. There are a lot of myths associated with domestic violence that unfortunately are grossly misleading. In this article, I am going to address some of those myths and attempt to setrepparttar record straight. Who am I, and what qualifies me? Well I am a former Police Officer of over 14 years, and I amrepparttar 138706 author ofrepparttar 138707 book "Crime Awareness 101." Throughout my career as a Police Officer I have dealt with a lot of domestic violence situations, and have seen first hand what this crime does to both its direct and indirect victims.

"Domestic Abusers are extremely violent people"

     Though some domestic abusers are extremely violent people, they are actuallyrepparttar 138708 minority. Most ofrepparttar 138709 domestic abusers we arrested never resisted or fought with us. Why? Because domestic abuse isn't about violence it's about control. The abuser wants to control their victim, and this control is enforced through physical violence, butrepparttar 138710 underlining fact is control. This is why they will not fight withrepparttar 138711 police, because they know they will not gainrepparttar 138712 control. Another example is sayrepparttar 138713 abuser is at work, and his superior (who may even be a woman) asks him to do something that he may not want to do. He doesn't beatrepparttar 138714 superior up because he doesn't haverepparttar 138715 control. Yet at home, behind closed doors, he wants and gainsrepparttar 138716 control. This is a difficult concept for many to understand. To help explain this better I have listed a few common control issues found in domestic abusers.

  • Monitoringrepparttar 138717 victim's comings and goings in great detail.
  • Isolatingrepparttar 138718 victim from family or friends.
  • Discouragingrepparttar 138719 victim from working, joining organizations, attending school, or leavingrepparttar 138720 house.
  • Constantly accusingrepparttar 138721 victim of being unfaithful.
  • Belittling or humiliatingrepparttar 138722 victim.
  • Controlling all finances and forcingrepparttar 138723 victim to account for what they spend in detail.
  • Destroying personal property or sentimental items.
  • Threatening to leave withrepparttar 138724 children or saying they will never seerepparttar 138725 children again.

     As you can see domestic violence is a control issue. Actuallyrepparttar 138726 psychological damage done by this type of behavior is much greater thenrepparttar 138727 actual physical abuse.

"Domestic Violence only happens to poor people."

     Domestic Violence has no boundaries; it affects all levels of income. I had a one case whererepparttar 138728 domestic abuser was an educated male who made a six figure income. His victim (former live in girlfriend) was an educated female who made a nice income herself. They both had good jobs, and lived in an expensive condo. Well he had beaten her so badly that she was hospitalized with a closed head injury. Talking with her later she stated that she could not believe she found herself in this situation. She stated that her abuser was a white collar worker who actually appeared onrepparttar 138729 outside to be a harmless geek. In fact, her friends couldn't believe he was capable of this. A few days later we were called back torepparttar 138730 residence to stand by as peace officers, whilerepparttar 138731 woman packed up her stuff and moved out. Duringrepparttar 138732 time that we were there, I noticed how she couldn't stop trembling. She was so afraid that her abuser would come back, and attack her while she was there. This was to spiterepparttar 138733 fact that two Police Officers were with herrepparttar 138734 whole time (remember this was many days later). What is sad this was notrepparttar 138735 first time she was abused, but hopefully with her leaving it will berepparttar 138736 last. In case you're curious yes he was arrested.

Should You Wear Cropped Pants?

Written by Diana Pemberton-Sikes

“I watched a fashion show last night,” a reader wrote me recently. “They said you should never wear Capris. I am 5' 7", long legs, slim size 8. I understand that they might not be flattering to everyone, but what about for me? I just ordered a pair online. Tell me, what do you think?”

I think it's an interesting question. For while low-rise pants tend to flatter very few women, cropped pants can work well on a variety of figures, provided they follow a few simple guidelines.

Before we get to them, however, let me define exactlyrepparttar style I'm referring to, so that we're all onrepparttar 138689 same page.

Cropped pants, also known as pedal pushers, clam diggers, and Capris, are a style of pants that ends somewhere betweenrepparttar 138690 knee andrepparttar 138691 ankle, usually at mid-calf. They've gone in and out of fashion several times sincerepparttar 138692 1950's, and are currently enjoying renewed popularity.

They are not for everyone, however.

Because of where they hit onrepparttar 138693 leg, they can emphasize several things. For example:

*If you're petite, they can make you look shorter.

*If you're bottom heavy, they can make you look heavier.

*If you have short legs, they can make them look shorter.

*If you have thick ankles, they can make them look thicker.

Notice that I said, “can” in every situation. This isn't a given. Much of it can depend onrepparttar 138694 color, cut, style of hem, and shoes that you choose.

Let's look at these one by one:


Dark or muted colors will make you look smaller, light or bright colors will make you look bigger. Small prints work better on small bodies, large prints work better on large or tall bodies.


The most flattering cut for trim bodies of all heights tends to be flat front with tapered legs. This style elongatesrepparttar 138695 body and offers a chic, uncluttered line - which is why it was favored byrepparttar 138696 likes of Jacqueline Kennedy and Audrey Hepburn during their summer vacations, and promptly copiedrepparttar 138697 world over.

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