Domestic Violence: The Fact Behind The MythsWritten by Scott Shaper
Domestic Violence: The Facts Behind The Myths.
Domestic Violence is one of today's most common assault type crimes. It seems as if almost everyone either knows someone who was, or is a victim of domestic violence. Or, they either are, or were a victim themselves. There are a lot of myths associated with domestic violence that unfortunately are grossly misleading. In this article, I am going to address some of those myths and attempt to set record straight. Who am I, and what qualifies me? Well I am a former Police Officer of over 14 years, and I am author of book "Crime Awareness 101." Throughout my career as a Police Officer I have dealt with a lot of domestic violence situations, and have seen first hand what this crime does to both its direct and indirect victims.
"Domestic Abusers are extremely violent people"
Though some domestic abusers are extremely violent people, they are actually minority. Most of domestic abusers we arrested never resisted or fought with us. Why? Because domestic abuse isn't about violence it's about control. The abuser wants to control their victim, and this control is enforced through physical violence, but underlining fact is control. This is why they will not fight with police, because they know they will not gain control. Another example is say abuser is at work, and his superior (who may even be a woman) asks him to do something that he may not want to do. He doesn't beat superior up because he doesn't have control. Yet at home, behind closed doors, he wants and gains control. This is a difficult concept for many to understand. To help explain this better I have listed a few common control issues found in domestic abusers.
As you can see domestic violence is a control issue. Actually psychological damage done by this type of behavior is much greater then actual physical abuse.
"Domestic Violence only happens to poor people."
Domestic Violence has no boundaries; it affects all levels of income. I had a one case where domestic abuser was an educated male who made a six figure income. His victim (former live in girlfriend) was an educated female who made a nice income herself. They both had good jobs, and lived in an expensive condo. Well he had beaten her so badly that she was hospitalized with a closed head injury. Talking with her later she stated that she could not believe she found herself in this situation. She stated that her abuser was a white collar worker who actually appeared on outside to be a harmless geek. In fact, her friends couldn't believe he was capable of this. A few days later we were called back to residence to stand by as peace officers, while woman packed up her stuff and moved out. During time that we were there, I noticed how she couldn't stop trembling. She was so afraid that her abuser would come back, and attack her while she was there. This was to spite fact that two Police Officers were with her whole time (remember this was many days later). What is sad this was not first time she was abused, but hopefully with her leaving it will be last. In case you're curious yes he was arrested.
Should You Wear Cropped Pants?Written by Diana Pemberton-Sikes
“I watched a fashion show last night,” a reader wrote me recently. “They said you should never wear Capris. I am 5' 7", long legs, slim size 8. I understand that they might not be flattering to everyone, but what about for me? I just ordered a pair online. Tell me, what do you think?”
I think it's an interesting question. For while low-rise pants tend to flatter very few women, cropped pants can work well on a variety of figures, provided they follow a few simple guidelines.
Before we get to them, however, let me define exactly style I'm referring to, so that we're all on same page.
Cropped pants, also known as pedal pushers, clam diggers, and Capris, are a style of pants that ends somewhere between knee and ankle, usually at mid-calf. They've gone in and out of fashion several times since 1950's, and are currently enjoying renewed popularity.
They are not for everyone, however.
Because of where they hit on leg, they can emphasize several things. For example:
*If you're petite, they can make you look shorter.
*If you're bottom heavy, they can make you look heavier.
*If you have short legs, they can make them look shorter.
*If you have thick ankles, they can make them look thicker.
Notice that I said, “can” in every situation. This isn't a given. Much of it can depend on color, cut, style of hem, and shoes that you choose.
Let's look at these one by one:
Dark or muted colors will make you look smaller, light or bright colors will make you look bigger. Small prints work better on small bodies, large prints work better on large or tall bodies.
The most flattering cut for trim bodies of all heights tends to be flat front with tapered legs. This style elongates body and offers a chic, uncluttered line - which is why it was favored by likes of Jacqueline Kennedy and Audrey Hepburn during their summer vacations, and promptly copied world over.