Does the Fear of Rejection Control Your Life?

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

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Title: Doesrepparttar 140665 Fear of Rejection Control Your Life? Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul URL: Word Count: 699 Category: Self Improvement, Personal Growth

Doesrepparttar 140666 Fear of Rejection Control Your Life? By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Jay sought my help because he wanted to get married and have children, yetrepparttar 140667 relationship of his dreams seemed to elude him. When I first met Jay, he was an attractive, creative, brilliant and successful businessman in his middle 30’s. And he had a great sense of humor. It wasn’t that women weren’t attracted to him. He had no trouble having first dates with interesting, intelligent, and attractive women. But it never went anywhere. Jay was baffled.

When I first started to counsel Jay, he was very quiet. It felt like pulling teeth to get him to share anything with me, especially his feelings. He stayed in his head, brilliant in his ability to articulate, but flat and unemotional. He words were carefully planned out and delivered. He seemed to always be tense. It was very hard to connect with him.

“Jay, something seems to be inrepparttar 140668 way of your spontaneity. Are you aware of how carefully you pick your words?”


“There must be a good reason you do this. Do you know what that is?”

“I don’t want to sayrepparttar 140669 wrong thing. I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“And what are you afraid will happen if you sayrepparttar 140670 wrong thing or make a fool of yourself?

“I will be rejected.”

“So most ofrepparttar 140671 time in conversation your intention is to avoid rejection?”

“Yes. I’m terrified of rejection. I will do anything to avoid it.”

“Jay, what are you telling yourself it means if someone rejects you?”

“It means that they don’t like me because I’m inadequate and unworthy.”

“So in your mind, everyone, especially attractive women, haverepparttar 140672 power to define your adequacy and worth?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“So when you are with women, your intention is to have control over how they feel about you so they won’t reject you. Yet you seem to get rejected over and over. How do you account for that?”

Does Lack of Confidence Stop You?

Written by Jo Ball

Ever hadrepparttar sense that there is more to life than you’re experiencing?

Ever felt that there’s more out there for you to do, but never been quite sure of what that is? Or maybe you know what you need to do, but have been putting it off because you lackedrepparttar 140626 confidence to takerepparttar 140627 chance.

One ofrepparttar 140628 biggest things in our way of exploring this path is our necessity to pay our bills. This usually means staying in a job or career that no longer fulfils us for a little while… usually forty years!

Another block to changing life might be your upbringing – maybe a parent who tells you that you need to stick with what you know – or a spouse who’d prefer you to stayrepparttar 140629 way you are and not follow your dreams, or friends who think that anything other than what you’ve been doing forrepparttar 140630 last few years is odd.

It can be quite scary to reach out for your truth. By your truth I mean your life purpose. What’s more, those around you might find it quite scary too – that’s why they try to put you off doing it. I mean can you imagine their faces if you suddenly became crystal clear, not only that you were going to change your life, but also knew how.

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