Do you suffer from too much GAS?

Written by Mixedlexia

It is well documented that too much gas can be detrimental.

  • Gas can cause severe stomach cramps.
  • Certain gases can be harmful torepparttar enviroment.
  • Other gases can consume oxygen, and basically "smother" you.
  • Particular diets can be related to gas.
  • Heavy gases can even cause back ache, lumbago, shoulder injury, etc..

    You can checkrepparttar 148379 following image links which may help you determine whether you actually have gas, or not.


Written by O.P. Hadwenzic


Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.


-- Or, Are You Walking on Thin Ice or Running Nowhere Fast? --

**By Professor Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, a latitudinarian linguist fromrepparttar University of Ecum Secum in Old Sweat, Nova Scotia (with an abiding interest inrepparttar 148145 history of fetish footwear, how an Old Mother managed to raise her brood in a shoe, and why one sportswear company decided to market an “intelligent” sneaker in a world full of tortoises and hares with two left feet)**

The other day I set out on a scientific expedition of sorts to figure out why mankind invented “smart technology” in a hard-wired world full of dingbats, dorks, dumbbells, dunderheads, and dweebs (plus their close-relatives,repparttar 148146 affable but nevertheless intellectually-impaired nincompoops, ninny-hammers, nudniks, and numskulls).

Being an “egghead”, I’m used to living onrepparttar 148147 margins of society with “nerdy geeks” and “aliens from outer space”. Like my humble companions, I’m committed to undertaking a perilous journey in search ofrepparttar 148148 “Big Bang” (that event that gave birth torepparttar 148149 blessed universe),repparttar 148150 “Big Bopper” (the one who presides overrepparttar 148151 entire blinking place), andrepparttar 148152 “Big Bad Wolf” (the darned devil in disguise who makes a mess by eating little grannies and blowing houses down just forrepparttar 148153 heck of it).

My first inkling we had a problem was a glance at my on-line vault of vacuous thoughts, vapid experiences and often very misleading facts. Sure enough, my super-duper search engine revealed some delightfully dubious data:

· 125,000 web pages devoted to “smart technology” (with another 818,000 web pages dedicated to “smart people”) and

· 587 web pages dedicated to “dumb technology” (with a whopping 4,450,000 web page devoted to “dummies”, and an additional 129,000 web pages exposing all manner of things about “dumb people”).

Clearly these trivial tidbits of truth leave a lot to be desired. One could easily conclude, erroneously of course, that our lonely planet was inhabited by a plethora of “dummies”. First,repparttar 148154 “dumbfounded” elements of our society appear to outnumberrepparttar 148155 “smarty pant” folks by a factor of 4:1. Second, “intelligent” tools and technologies do not appear to rank high on everyone’s hit parade of “fun” things to do or play with, (judging fromrepparttar 148156 long list of consumer complaints andrepparttar 148157 short list of extraterrestrials who’ve actually dropped by for a peek at this peculiar place or declined to leave hospitable greetings).

It’s rather amazing indeed that “smart” folks with their “smart personal object technology” - (SPOT) are so clueless about what makes life worth living. I grew up with “Think & Do” books featuringrepparttar 148158 adventures of Dick and Jane together with their animal companions PUFF and SPOT. Today’s kids grow up with a remote control device in their hands so they can flick onrepparttar 148159 latest lessons about life from “Big Bird” and “Teletubblies”.

Frankly since SPOT is so full of bleeps, blips and blotchy blobs, it’s not surprisingrepparttar 148160 “digital do-gooders” have written books about how to helprepparttar 148161 “digitally-challenged” adjust to “virtual reality”.

Cont'd on page 2 ==> © 2005
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