Do not Forgive: Infidelity, Unfaithfulness,Betrayal and the Dishonesty of Cheating Hearts

Written by Nevine Al Seidi


Both men and women seem to generously cheat on their other halves, these days. Society in general, seems to think that stories of cheating hearts are nothing to write home about. Research is trying to convince us that hormones, not Herculean horrendousness is to blame. And naturally, when we talk troublesome hormones, we usher to testosterone - what else? Consequently,repparttar ‘scarlet letter' goes to women, while men are left forgiven for their fundamental ‘frailty'. When I do not intend to deliver a sermon onrepparttar 132579 immorality of dishonesty and betrayal, I need to pinpoint to you what unfaithfulness really means in a love relationship and in a marriage. Oncerepparttar 132580 definition of infidelity is determined, it is easier to see clearly what ‘forgiveness' actually means in such a situation.

As a linguist, I always start my cognition journey withrepparttar 132581 thesaurus in hand. Now, what arerepparttar 132582 synonyms of infidelity? Unfaithfulness, falseness, disloyalty, dishonesty, deceit, treachery and treason. Andrepparttar 132583 synonyms of those synonyms? Untrustworthiness, fickleness, duplicity, lying, pretense, inconsistency, capriciousness and vacillation. The sub synonyms of those? Unreliability, undependability, deviousness, changeability, uncertainty, fraudulence, insincerity, untruthfulness, double-dealing, make-believe, charade, contradiction, whimsicality, frivolity, irresponsibility, volatility, indecision, fluctuation and ambivalence. I could still derive sub-categories and feel you getrepparttar 132584 picture already. Then, when a loved one, a partner, a husband, or a wife ‘cheats' on me, he/she is all ofrepparttar 132585 above and guilty of allrepparttar 132586 above. Could there be an excuse for allrepparttar 132587 above-mentioned sins and crimes? Is there a blank space somewhere where we can tuck words like: sympathy, empathy, mercy, compassion or forgiveness? If you are still confused, please buy yourself a thesaurus!

Now, if someone who is guilty of allrepparttar 132588 above declares his love anew? If he is confessing his trespass and asking for a second chance? If he is promising devotion, committment and a fresh start of mutual trust? If he/she says they are yours ‘now'.. will you take them back? Now you find excuses forrepparttar 132589 guilty.. you cite words like flings, crush, passing fantasy, insecurity and sexual seduction. But this cannot apply in any case you were betrayed for more than a few hours when that martyr was duped, dozed and drunk enough to lose their common sense, or ifrepparttar 132590 poor thing has lost his/her mind and is verging on medical insanity. But for someone who dated, fell in love, suffered longing, felt attached, devoted time, designed alibis, determined a relationship, shared his most intimate detail, and desired to be with someone else rather than be with you, it is a different story. If you call a relationship with a person who did that to you love, I wonder what hate is like. If you haverepparttar 132591 heart to invest in such a relationship again, I wonder what you think of yourself.

The world abounds with people who hate us, feel jealous of us, want to harm us or are simply indifferent to our pain and suffering. I believe that to keep one of those in your own home, in your bed, in your arms is sheer madness. We forgive mistakes, but punish sins. And dishonesty is more of a sin of character. It isrepparttar 132592 manifestation of falsehood of feelings we thought were love. Hormones? I would forgive a rat with minimal brain cells. But a sane person who gave me enough reason to fall in love with them and trust them with my life and future deserves one good last kick out ofrepparttar 132593 door. Forget aboutrepparttar 132594 shared resources and friends,repparttar 132595 common dreams,repparttar 132596 binding children,repparttar 132597 single roof,repparttar 132598 long history and good credit. You need to raterepparttar 132599 person you are with anew. Rating him as he is today in reality as you see it clearly. And ask yourself one simple question: Could this berepparttar 132600 closest person to me in this life? The answer must still depend on two things: your sanity and your self-esteem.

Lately, I have had an experience of such a treachery that put me inrepparttar 132601 shoes ofrepparttar 132602 other woman, or sayrepparttar 132603 other girlfriend, when I thought I was fit into Cinderella's. He was in a longterm relationship, not sharing a roof but a life, with someone for more than nine years. Falling for me instantly, spending a minimum of ten hours with me onrepparttar 132604 phone or in person, and giving me allrepparttar 132605 devotion a woman with my ego demanded, before having sex with me, gave me little reason to suspect that he was ‘tied' somewhere else too. When I found out and terminatedrepparttar 132606 relationship, he asked for time to severrepparttar 132607 past bond in a civilized manner - something I totally approved of. Severingrepparttar 132608 relationship with his other girlfriend turned to be a dinner that lasted till 5 am one day, onrepparttar 132609 birthday of his friend, a business meeting onrepparttar 132610 week end that surpassed eight hours and finally, a vacation of four days to a summer resort for Easter onrepparttar 132611 following evening I took him back forrepparttar 132612 third time after swearing his love. My relationship was not lust, no fling, no crush, and no passing fantasy. It was big, solid, effervescent, mature, discerning love story of two people dating beyond their forty years of age and past a marriage with children. Yet,repparttar 132613 minute I realized I was cheated upon when he declared onrepparttar 132614 phone that he was leaving for a vacation (with her) to sort things out and that ‘please-don't-be upset' meant he wanted his cake and eating it too, I almost giggled. My reaction was: " Suffering stops once you call a spade a spade; you know what you are? A phoney!" I did suffer for four weeks or so.. not love and loss, but wretched wrath.

Thank You For Your Patience (We'll Be With You As Soon As Possible)

Written by Carol Dorman 2003


How many times have you heard that when you make a phone call? A phone call about something which is absolutely vital to your current state of mind? A matter of utmost importance torepparttar nation's welfare...nay -repparttar 132576 WORLD'S!! ...(umm..that may be a bit exaggerated - but hey, I'm annoyed!)

It seems that every corporation, government department, odds and sods subsidiary - in fact any entity that has it's own logo - these days is incapable of providing real live people to talk to on a "first contact" basis.

Of course there isrepparttar 132577 option of eventually talking to a real, live person - at least that's what we're told...byrepparttar 132578 machines...but can you really trust a machine who cannot feel your pain...but I digress - as long as you have a good 20 minutes or so to spare. (yes, that is a conservative figure) Now there's a lot one can do in 20 minutes while waiting forrepparttar 132579 real live person to show up atrepparttar 132580 other end ofrepparttar 132581 phone line. Wash some dishes, clean something, think about cleaning something. Crikey, my mum could even have a batch of biscuits inrepparttar 132582 oven! Not me - my bikkies taste better out ofrepparttar 132583 packet...

Cont'd on page 2 ==>
 
ImproveHomeLife.com © 2005
Terms of Use