Do You Want To Know How Monogamy Came To Be?

Written by Joseph T Farkasdi

Inrepparttar Hebrew Bible, there is a clear distinction between a love relationship and a marriage arrangement. Love relationships are depicted, over all, asrepparttar 122026 blinding-revealing passion for someone who isrepparttar 122027 object ofrepparttar 122028 individual’s attention. For example, Yaakov’s passion for Rachel (B’reshith 29). King David’s lustful desire for Batsheva (Sh’muel Bet 11-12). Samson’s love for D’leelah,repparttar 122029 dominatrix ofrepparttar 122030 Hebrew Bible (Shofetim 16). Just to name a few. A marriage arrangement requires thatrepparttar 122031 one’s married to each other fulfillrepparttar 122032 ethical and moral legal obligations that are binding upon them underrepparttar 122033 laws prescribed withinrepparttar 122034 community. Further, love betweenrepparttar 122035 ones married to each other is not guaranteed. Divorce is probable, and arrangements for that are legally prescribed in bothrepparttar 122036 Torah andrepparttar 122037 Talmud. Marital strife is likely to occur due to differences in individual needs or unpredictable circumstances, and must be weathered through by adherence torepparttar 122038 marital obligations. Love can flourish betweenrepparttar 122039 married partners, and this isrepparttar 122040 "ideal" ifrepparttar 122041 individuals work together throughrepparttar 122042 struggles and keepingrepparttar 122043 obligations to nurture its continued existence inrepparttar 122044 marriage. Inrepparttar 122045 Hebrew Bible, all aspects dealing withrepparttar 122046 legal institution of marriage express polygamy. So, too, do allrepparttar 122047 narratives onrepparttar 122048 marriage lives of people; with what may appear to berepparttar 122049 rare exception of a few. But,repparttar 122050 Torah rarely, if ever, gives full disclosure onrepparttar 122051 personal lives of its legendary people. It has selective memory, and midrash of later generations have had to fill in areas not covered. If we were to stretch scripture a little, and interpret that some marriages were intentionally portrayed as monogamous, all this really shows us is two possibilities. The first, is that some men were likely to take only one wife; and/or two, that some should limit themselves to a lesser number. All aspects dealing with what can be described as a monogamous relationship withinrepparttar 122052 Hebrew Bible deal withrepparttar 122053 love affair situation of a biblical patriarch and a woman (not always a Hebrew matriarch). Kept in its context,repparttar 122054 Hebrew Bible presentsrepparttar 122055 cultural marriage arrangement of its time – polygamy. It even legally defines proper marriage behavior forrepparttar 122056 husband who is married to more than one wife (D'varim 21.15-17). And, in typical Hebrew teaching style,repparttar 122057 polygamist marriage narratives teach us that relationships are a struggle between individual needs. And, thatrepparttar 122058 obligations – laws, commandments, rules – of being legally married to each other requires that these struggles be worked out withinrepparttar 122059 marriage. Great lengths of creativity withinrepparttar 122060 marriages of biblical times were taken to accomplish this.

The "idea" thatrepparttar 122061 Torah encourages monogamy by showing allrepparttar 122062 struggles happening inrepparttar 122063 polygamist relationships is a later midrashic interpretation ofrepparttar 122064 Common Era Palestinian Jews*. [*See footnote below.] The Jews ofrepparttar 122065 intertestimal times (the 700 year period betweenrepparttar 122066 writing ofrepparttar 122067 Jewish scrolls, now known asrepparttar 122068 TaNaKH, andrepparttar 122069 writings ofrepparttar 122070 Greek New Testament byrepparttar 122071 Greco-Roman Christians ofrepparttar 122072 Diaspora). And, for only about a thousand years, has it been upheld through cultural law asrepparttar 122073 ideal within most Jewish communities, and more specificallyrepparttar 122074 Ashkenazic community of Old Europe. The rabbis ofrepparttar 122075 intertestimal period tookrepparttar 122076 TaNaKH scriptures out of their context and applied new meanings to them to deal withrepparttar 122077 present problems occurring withinrepparttar 122078 overran, hellenistically influenced Yisrael. The old ways andrepparttar 122079 reasons for these ways were no longer being followed enthusiastically, and new ways were needed to keeprepparttar 122080 integrity ofrepparttar 122081 Hebrew teachings.

Hence,repparttar 122082 new law that appeared inrepparttar 122083 Damascus Document* scroll of intertestimal times that limits marriage to one husband and one wife. The Damascus scroll gives a new definition to what is consideredrepparttar 122084 act of fornication. It specifically states that fornication, a sexual sin, isrepparttar 122085 taking of more than one wife in a man’s lifetime. The rationale for this definition of fornication is based upon two quotes from legend narratives ofrepparttar 122086 Torah. B’reshith 1.27, "So G-d created humankind in his image, inrepparttar 122087 image of G-d did he create it, male and female he created them" and 7.9, "two and two (each) came to Noah, intorepparttar 122088 Ark, male and female, as G-d had commanded Noah." Both scriptures were taken out of their context and have nothing to do withrepparttar 122089 Moshaic laws regarding marriage. And, one quote from D'varim 17.17 that speaks ofrepparttar 122090 King of Yisrael, that he is not to "multiply wives for himself." (A translation ofrepparttar 122091 Damascus Document is available in The Dead Sea Scrolls, A New Translation.) [*See footnote below.]

This latter biblical injunction does not restrictrepparttar 122092 King to one wife only, but instructs him not to create a harem for himself, so that his attention remains on his duties as King. The King is also told in this same passage of scripture not to "multiply horses for himself," "not to returnrepparttar 122093 people to Egypt in order to multiply horses," and that "silver and gold he is not to multiply for himself to excess." Neither of these injunctions say thatrepparttar 122094 King is restricted to owning only one horse and possessing one piece of silver or gold. The D’varim passage cited as validation byrepparttar 122095 first intertestimal adherents to monogamy is dealing with political-trade transactions ofrepparttar 122096 King. Later tradition has ascribed B’reshith 2.24 and Mishlei 31 as further justification thatrepparttar 122097 ancient Jews intended for us to form monogamous marriages. Again, scripture is taken out of context to justify a fundamentalist view. Withrepparttar 122098 passage of Mishlei, it is expressingrepparttar 122099 ideal wife and likens her to Shechinah, which isrepparttar 122100 feminine image of G-d,repparttar 122101 Hebrew G-ddess. It does not makerepparttar 122102 slightest suggestion concerningrepparttar 122103 number of wives a man is to have. To say thatrepparttar 122104 Bible supports a bias towards (or against) something that it clearly does not is simply wrong to do. And, this kind of interpreting leads to injustice.

Beyond the Arch of Swords: Making Military Marriage Last

Written by Barbara Eastom Bates

Melissa Wallace of Camp Pendleton, California is a tall, wispy woman, with a soft voice and gentle smile. The wife of 25-years to a Sgt. Maj. inrepparttar Marine Corps, Melissa and her husband John talk wistfully aboutrepparttar 122025 life that is soon to be behind them, as Sgt. Maj. Wallace prepares for retirement. Melissa and John were married in 1976. Several years later, followingrepparttar 122026 birth of their first son, John enlisted inrepparttar 122027 Marine Corps in hopes of finding a better life for his young family. Togetherrepparttar 122028 Wallace’s have seen four states, two countries and added three more sons to their family. They have survived two overseas tours, one that was unaccompanied, and an average of three deployments a year forrepparttar 122029 last 20 years. They celebrated their silver anniversary this past fall. There is no doubt that Melissa and John have faced challenges that have crumbled lesser marriages. Yet, looking at them today, there is no doubt they are as much in love asrepparttar 122030 day they married.

Melissa reflects, “Throughout John’s service torepparttar 122031 Corps, I’ve often been asked what it’s like to be married inrepparttar 122032 military. At first thought, I’d reply that marriage is marriage no matterrepparttar 122033 circumstances. But to say so would deny allrepparttar 122034 positive effectsrepparttar 122035 military has had on our life together, and there have been many. Marriage inrepparttar 122036 military is tough. It is full of every challenge and adversity you could imagine. Yet, it’s those challenges that make us stronger and ultimately make our marriage better.”

Emily Travis can relate to challenges. A new bride ofrepparttar 122037 military, Emily and her husband Todd are currently undergoing a six-month separation, just two months onrepparttar 122038 heels of their nuptials. Emily is 20-years old and away from home forrepparttar 122039 first time in her life while her husband, Naval Petty Officer Travis, is “on a big, gray boat, oceans away.”

“I miss him dearly,” muses Emily, “but I try not to dwell on that. I wouldn’t have chosen to have my husband away from me, but since he is, I’m taking this as an opportunity to show Toddrepparttar 122040 strength of my love for him. It takes real effort to nurture a relationship like ours, and I feel fortunate to haverepparttar 122041 chance to prove I’ll be here for him no matter what, regardless of how long I have to wait.”

The day-to-day details of marriage military style may vary, butrepparttar 122042 underlying theme isrepparttar 122043 same. Marriage requires commitment, understanding and patience, even underrepparttar 122044 best of circumstances. The demanding circumstances of military life lend even more importance to adhering to these values. Relationship expert Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D., author of Real Moments, writes, “Marriage is not a noun, it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get, it’s something you do...marriage is not a wedding ring, or a piece of paper that proves you are husband and wife, or a party that says you’ve been married for twenty-five years. Marriage is a behavior—it is how you love and honor your partner every day…it is a choice you make, not just on your wedding day, but over and over again, and that choice is reflected inrepparttar 122045 way you treat your husband or wife.”

Melissa Wallace shares a tradition that she and her husband used during deployments and other separations to enrich their marriage. “We kept individual journals allrepparttar 122046 time. The journals were written for each other and were like one big, long letter of all our hopes and fears and feelings. Whenever John would go away, we’d exchange them. With these journals, it was almost like we were still together, because we’d share allrepparttar 122047 day-to-day things you miss out on when you’re apart. Not only that, but we always seemed to learn new, special things about one another we wouldn’t have known otherwise. We still cherish these books years later. It’s like a chronicle of how far we’ve come in our marriage.”

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