You may need any of those things for any given achievement. If you’re trying to become a pro basketball player, you’ll need muscle. If you’re trying to get a college degree, you’ll need brain. If you want to become a plumber, you’ll need education, and if you want to be a lab tech, you’ll need technical skills.

But there’s one thing you’ll need no matter what you’re trying to accomplish, and that’s patience.

As Shakespeare said: “How poor are they that ha’ not patience! / What wound did ever heal but by degrees? / Thou know’st we work by wit and not by witchcraft, / And wit depends on dilatory time.” [Othello, II:3]

“Dilatory” means “tending or intended to cause delay,” and this quality of time – or time it takes to do something worthwhile – can’t be bent. Whatever you’re attempting, it will take as long as it takes. By wit, he means using your head, not relying on “witchcraft,” magical formulas, or wishful thinking. There is no magic that can make it happen. It takes thought, planning, and determination, and yes, these all require time.

So whatever task at hand – accomplishing something in your career, grieving a loss or death, rearing your children, or forging bonds with a new partner – it will take time, and therefore it will take patience.

And here’s what is sometimes hardest part. The word “patience” comes from Latin “pati” to suffer. All meanings of patience in dictionary let you know something is going to be required of you that magic can’t circumvent:

·Bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint ·Manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain ·Not hasty or impetuous ·Steadfast despite opposition, difficult or adversity ·Able or willing to bear

I’m reminded of a visit to my obstetrician some years ago, when pregnant with my second child and delighted. He told me how nice it was to have someone so happy in his office. “49% of my patients are pregnant and don’t want to be, and 49% aren’t pregnant and want to be.” So, same news delivered, you should pardon expression, brought different feelings.

You're probably aware that being optimistic and resilient can help you with any task or challenge, but have you considered gratitude? An attitude of gratitude?

When you're able to focus on positive things going on and to be grateful for them, it lessens stress and tension and helps you do your work and be more pleasant and loving. It accomplishes one very important thing: it keeps you from dwelling on things that are going wrong.

Have often have you focused on one thing that went back during a day and ignored all many things that went well?

Here are some ways you could put this into action in your life.

·At work, suggest at meetings, or around watering hole that each person mention something that’s gone well that day.

·Start a journal yourself of things you’re grateful for each day.

·Suggest to your partner that when you get home at night, you’ll each mention good things that happened that day, before bad, along with bad, or in place of bad.