I have seen some divorce parents consciously distance their children from
other parent? Such actions may only be justified when there is a genuine concern about children's emotional or physical safety when with other parent. But in absence of past domestic violence, drug or alcohol abuse, physical, sexual, or emotional child abuse, alienating children from other parent will never bring any good.Other parents may subconsciously alienate children from other parent. But whether there is a deliberate move or not to alienate children from other parent, same thing will happen. Children will always suffer. Remember children generally fare best when they have emotional support and ongoing involvement of both parents and parental alienation must be put to an end.
The good news is we can prevent devastating effects of parental alienation. The key is to begin recognizing symptoms of parental alienation. After reading list below, don't get discouraged when you notice that some of your own behaviors have been alienating. Instead, let list help sensitize you to how you are behaving and what you are saying to your children.
1. Denying existence of other parent. This include actions like denying other parent photo's within children's room, avoiding conversations with other parent, ignoring other parent in public and refusing visitation.
2. Criticizing other parent. This include actions like speaking negatively about other parent in front of children, speaking negatively about other parent's family and friends, and comparing your children to other parent in a negative way.
3. Placing your children in middle. This include actions like using them as a messenger, having them act as spies, discussing adult issues in front of or with your children and arguing in front of children.
4. Setting up other parent to fail. This include actions like failing to inform other parent of important events, laughing at or making jokes about other parent, encourage children to disobey other parent and blaming divorce on other parent.
5. Resisting or refusing to cooperate by not allowing other parent access to school or medical records and schedules of extracurricular activities.
6. Telling child "everything" about marital relationship or reasons for divorce is alienating. The parent usually argues that they are "just wanting to be honest" with their children. This practice is destructive and painful for child. The alienating parent's motive is for child to think less of other parent.
