Experience with my clients has shown me that most of us spend a lot more time thinking about what we don’t want. Some examples when it comes to our job include:

qI hate my commute. qI am not challenged at my job. qI wish I didn’t have to travel so much. qI miss my family. qI have no energy. qI don’t get paid enough.

And list goes on and on. By end of day we have spent on average 70-80% of day thinking about things we don’t want.

Now, what happens when we put our attention on things? They usually come to pass right? Have you ever been really clear on something you wanted, thought about it, took action to get it and finally got it?

Well same works for things you don’t want. The more attention you put on them, more you get of them. If you want to get out of work that doesn’t satisfy you and find work that does, then you will need to take your attention off of things that keep you dissatisfied and put it on what you think will satisfy you.

The best way to do that?

Turn your “don’t wants” into “do wants” - The list above is all about things you don’t want, simply flip them into things you do:

It has been a long, hard road: layoff, unemployment, fear, depression, and occasionally panic or despair. Beyond trauma of losing your job stretches uncomfortable, stress filled nightmare of looking for work. Emotionally reeling from blows of joblessness, you picked yourself up and cast yourself out into mind-numbing, ego-destructive, judgmental world of job seeker.

Now nightmare is over. The offer has been made and accepted: you are going back to work.

Do you feel elated? At times, probably so. Do you also feel deflated? Again, probably so. When we are actively involved in looking for work, we tend to feel that once we are offered a position, all will be right with world, long-borne burden will be off our shoulders, and our mental outlook will be bright and positive.

Don't be surprised or upset if you don't experience an unalloyed sense of joy and optimism. It is not unusual to encounter feelings of disappointment and apathy, Your family and friends are totally delighted for you, so you develop feelings of guilt for not being as happy and relieved as everyone else appears.

Be kind to yourself. Become aware of what you are experiencing so you can accept it for what it is and become your own primary source of support. Consider these events:

1. You have just been through a harrowing ordeal that required you to marshal all your resources to focus on one goal: finding employment. You harnessed your anxiety by pouring out adrenaline to keep yourself active and fighting fit. You buried your concerns about other aspects of your life in order to concentrate on one single priority. Now that you have attained your goal, there is no more focus for your emotional and physiological energies, they simply swirl around in disarray. When such an all-encompassing goal is accomplished, there is suddenly a temporary vacuum. For moment, you don't know what to do with yourself, a predicament that leads to mood swings, a sense of loss, a vague but powerful restlessness that is as unpleasant as it is unexpected.