"Get that shirt on Jacques, you've got a lady to pick up at
Air Port.""Gonna be in
buff by this afternoon driving this broken down cab with a heater I can't turn off. Whats her name Fred?
"You're breaking my heart Jacques. Did you ever think of opening
window? Her name is Ellen Simonetti ."
"Is she a tall blonde with a great pair of legs."
"Yeah she is Jacques. How did you know."
"Saw her on TV
other day Fred. She's
first Flight Attendant to ever be fired for blogging."
"Whats blogging Jacques?"
"The word blog is derived from
word web log. They took
b from
end of
word web and then combined that letter b with
word log. So blog is kind of a hip way to say web log."
"Whats a weblog?"
"Never mind Fred. Don't think you'll understand. Lets just say its a little something they invented a little bit past your Pony Express days."
"I'll tell her you've got great abs so you don't have to keep your shirt off."
"Okay, okay, I'm putting
shirt on now Fred. Tell her I'll be there in about five minutes."
Arriving at
Airport his waiting passenger asked,"are you
cab driver with
great abs?"
"What else did my dispatcher tell you about me,?" Jacques asked.
"Oh nothing much. He just mentioned that you slept with
librarian and your school teacher just to get an A."
"Gee, I mentioned that in confidence to one person, now I suppose its all over town. Anyway how have you been Ellen Simonetti ? I've seen you on
Today Show and on CNBC. I'm sorry that you were fired from your job as a Flight Attendant because of your blogging."
"Thank you Jacques. Its kind of you to say that. But I came here to forget about my troubles. My very good friend is getting married and I'm gonna be her Brides Maid. So I'm gonna just forget about Delta and TV and newspaper interviews for a few days and just be plain old Ellen Simonetti again."
"I understand Ellen. I think taking a break from it all is
best thing to do. Besides New England is beautiful this time of year. How are you fixed for cash?"
"I'm okay Jacques. I'm getting unemployment benefits at last. I just hope I can finish my book before
checks run out. I'm not happy about being on such a tight budget but I have no choice unless I take
offer to be a centerfold."
"Oh, so they did want you do a centerfold. Figured they would. It would of sold magazines but I'm sure you made
right decision."
"Just couldn't do it Jacques. Any way I wear white socks."
"White socks! I don't get it."
"Its kind of a Texas saying Jacques. Good girls wear white socks."
"Oh now I get it. Oh by
way Ellen would you like to make some quick easy money?"
"Sure I would Jacques, but just keep in mind that I wear white socks."
"Sure Ellen, it just so happens that I wear white socks too."
"Yeah, great Jacques, that gives me a lot of faith in you. You just slept with
librarian and your school teacher but you wear white socks. What are we talking about here? I don't deal drugs or rob banks either."
"No, no Ellen, nothing illegal. All you have to do is place a bet on a horse race. And its not on a ringer or anything like that."
"Whats a ringer Jacques?"
"A ringer is a horse disquised as another horse. Lets say you own a grey horse thats a top allowance grade horse and I own a cheap horse that runs for a low claiming tag. What we do is switch horses. The bettors think they're betting on my cheap claiming tag horse but he's really your allowance horse. Its getting harder to get away with this today because now they have more ways to identify horses but people still try it from time to time."
"So whats so special about this one horse race and why do you need me to place
bet?"
"My friend is a horse trainer Ellen. He's been secretly clocking Joisey Girl in
early morning before
clockers show up at
track. He figures that Joisey Girl is at least ten lengths better than
top contenders in
race. But if either one of us is spotted making a big bet on
horse
price will go down. Joisey Girl hasn't run in two years. She was hurt but she had surgery and my friend nursed her back to health. She figures to go off about seventy to one if no one gets wise."
"How much do you want me to bet on it Jacques?"
"I only have five hundred dollars that I saved for my rent to bet. I'll give you one hundred dollars worth of
bet just for putting it in. Just walk up to
five hundred dollar win window two minutes before
race goes off and say one ticket on number seven."
"But what if it loses Jacques? Then how will you pay your rent?"
"Its no big deal Ellen. If Joisey Girl loses I'll just have to sleep with my land lady again. She'd much rather have me sleep with her than give her
rent money any way."
"Sleep with you're land lady again! You're putting me on about your land lady. Right?"
"No, thats
deal we made. She said five hundred a month or I sleep with her on rent day. But she wanted a three month security deposit, so I had to sleep with her three times because I didn't have
fiveteen hundred for
security deposit."
"Take off that shirt Jacques. I want to see if your abs are worth five hundred dollars a month free rent. And I'm gonna take pictures to show my friends in Texas if they are."
"Okay Ellen, I'm taking off my shirt but I don't want to see those pictures ending up in Play Girl or something. Remember, I wear white socks."
"Damn, I'm snapping. Those abs are worth a thousand a month rent. Hey take of some more Jacques. Maybe I could sell
pictures to Play Girl."
"Okay Ellen stop snapping where here. Got to put my shirt back on now. Just remember to play it cool. If anyone asks you why you're betting number seven just say its your lucky number and act like you really don't care if it loses."
"Okay I'll do it Jacques. Any way seven is my lucky number. I've got ten dollars of wild money. So I'm gonna play a seven and seven daily double for my self."
"I was going to leave right after
first race Ellen. After all, I am supposed to be providing a cab service. But okay, put your double in. Maybe its a winner."
"Thanks Jacques, I feel lucky today. And you're right. It is a picture perfect day today. New England is really a beautiful place."
"There she is Ellen. Joisey Girl is walking out on
track now."