OK, so maybe I’ve exaggerated things a bit, but we’ve all certainly heard that saying before. Why does that sentiment ring true for so many folks? Obviously it’s because of all people challenges we’re presented with in our business. Virtually every one of my clients over years has brought up subject of dealing with difficult people. There’s no escaping fact that they come into everyone’s lives at one time or another. Sometimes they come in form of an unhappy or hard-to-get-along-with client, customer, or co-worker. Sometimes they’re a person we report to or someone who reports to us. And sometimes they’re just someone we happen to come in contact with like a store clerk. Whoever they are, they can cause anxiety, frustration, concern, or anger in us and can even cause us to become like them – someone difficult to deal with.

Sometimes best way to deal with a difficult person is to avoid them altogether – give them wide berth. But often we don’t have that option. The difficult person is someone we simply have to deal with. Most people would say that in those situations, we have three options. These options are: 1) Try to change ourselves, 2) Try to change other person, and 3) Resolve to tolerate situation – basically decide to put up with them. I’d like to suggest that there’s a fourth, very effective option as well – perhaps most effective of four options. Let’s spend some time discussing these four options.

1) Try to Change Ourselves Your first instinct might be, “Why should I be one to change?” In fact quite often you’ll find that to be an appropriate response! Often there is nothing about what we do or say to cause other person to be difficult. We are usually not catalyst for their behavior. But sometimes we are. Haven’t you had people in your life who just rubbed you wrong way? You’re fine around pretty much everyone else, but around a particular person, you get defensive, anxious, angry, and difficult to deal with? I think we all have. If you’ve had people in your life who cause you to become difficult or obstinate, then doesn’t it stand to reason that you may be causing that same reaction in someone? It’s in situations like this that we have to examine our own behaviors and reflect on whether we’re cause. Frequently however, we’re blind to our shortcomings. We don’t see what we don’t see. How do you find out whether you’re cause of other person’s difficult behavior? Option 4 holds answer.

2) Try to Change Other Person In Option 1 – Try to Change Ourselves – our initial instinct was to ask, “Why should I be one to change?” Our first reaction was one of justification. Basically saying, “I’m not one with problem…” Guess what happens when we try to change other person? You got it. They have same reaction we would have had. Everyone feels justified in their behavior. No one intends to behave arbitrarily or irrationally. We always have a reason for acting way we do. Attempting to force other person to change doesn’t work. Just ask any spouse! No one will change anything about themselves until and unless they choose to do so. Option 4 holds answer.

3) Decide to Put Up with Them “Tolerate it.” “Just deal with it.” The only thing that accepting things way they are accomplishes is to postpone a confrontation. Although this course of action (or inaction) appears to avoid a confrontation, in fact what it does is eliminate any chance of dialogue and replaces it with a certain confrontation down road. Even though this path is frequently taken, it has some far-reaching unhappy consequences. Let’s talk about how it affects you, other person, and your team.

Are you making these big mistakes?

1. You don't tell people what you do in a way that helps them buy. People buy when they understand what they get, what problem you'll solve for them, how you'll stop their pain, or increase their pleasure. Focusing on what you'll do, where you went to school, what steps you'll take, how hard you'll work for them, won't get you sales. Letting them know what pain you'll take away, what pleasure you'll bring, how they'll feel better, be better, when you're finished will go much further in getting to yes. Sell sizzle, what your prospect can see, feel, and experience, not steak, steps you'll go through, how long you trained, effort you'll put in.

Your bottom line will thank you...and so will your satisfied customers and clients.

2. You don't know your leads to sales ratio...so you consistently miss making money you want and need to make. Knowing your ratio helps you understand what you need to do to get more sales.

Your marketing efforts will bring you potential customers.

Your sales ability will convert those potential customers into paying customers. If you are getting lots of potential customers, and not enough sales, take a sales class, pick up a good sales book, ask a buddy to help you learn to sell better.

On other hand, if you're closing most of qualified leads you get and you're still not making enough money, start working on your marketing efforts. Either increase sizzle in your marketing efforts, making you look like solution potential prospects will want, or increase scope, number of potential prospects you approach.