Dealing with Anger

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach & Consultant

“When I was growing up,” Annette tells me, “girls weren’t supposed to get mad. Just as we were supposed to sit still, and not speak unless spoken to, we were supposed to look pretty and keep a smile on our face. It’s no wonder I had migraines for so many years. And when I did start dealing with it, I had no idea what to do about it.”

“There was something wrong with her, I think,” Anthony told me. “My ex-wife … she never got angry, allrepparttar time we were married. Not once.” He paused and looked away. Then he added, “She just threwrepparttar 126140 keys onrepparttar 126141 table one day and walked out. I had no idea there was anything wrong.”

“‘Let it all hang out’ wasrepparttar 126142 catchword sometime aroundrepparttar 126143 late 70’s,” says Martha. “After years of being told NOT to express our anger, we were supposed to do so allrepparttar 126144 time. I remember this period of time as very unpleasant. We got it from all sides. It was very, um, noisy.”

“Inrepparttar 126145 80s, they were telling women to stomp around, talk loudly, and assert themselves. We were supposed to ‘get angry’ in order to compete with men inrepparttar 126146 work world,” says Paula.

Anger … how we struggle with this primitive, upsetting emotion. Denied to women, it was atrepparttar 126147 same timerepparttar 126148 “all purpose” emotion for a generation of men –repparttar 126149 only legitimate way they could express any emotion, since tenderness, grief, shame and sympathy were women’s territory.

We are more accepting now for both genders to have all feelings (like we had a choice), and yet we still don’t know what to do about anger. “Anger kills” andrepparttar 126150 evidence mounts daily how detrimental this emotion, unmanaged, can be to our health -- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Can’t we just do away with this emotion we dislike so much? Reach some state of nirvana where we’re always “happy” and nothing bothers us? Not likely, and if we could, we’d be missing a great source of information.

The key is not to get rid of anger – or any other emotion – but to learn how to deal with it in a manner that’s not harmful to ourselves or to others, and to heed its message.

There have been more “fads” about anger, than fingers on my hands, and I’ve lived through many of them. So how are we dealing with it now? What’srepparttar 126151 latest?

Let’s get away from “fads” and get torepparttar 126152 nitty-gritty about this potentially destructive, yet vital, emotion.


Anger, in its rawest form, comes fromrepparttar 126153 primitive, or reptilian brain. While “anger” encompasses many things when we experience it, comes from many causes, and contains many puzzling layers, atrepparttar 126154 bottom it’s aggression.

Emotions fromrepparttar 126155 reptilian brain are designed for survival, and are stronger than our thoughts will ever be. If we didn’t pay attention to them, we might come into harm’s way. They’re designed to preclude thinking. Whenrepparttar 126156 insult comes, orrepparttar 126157 push, orrepparttar 126158 threat, we react … just as if there were a beast in front of us, threatening our life.

Adrenalin starts pumping and we move into fight-or-flight. There’s no time to think, or we’d be dead … at leastrepparttar 126159 wayrepparttar 126160 emotion was originally designed to operate. The trouble is, today there are few real threats to our existence, but our bodies don’t knowrepparttar 126161 difference, and so we react.


We ignore it to our peril. We are our emotions, and if we shut down one, we shut them all down. If you aren’t willing to experiencerepparttar 126162 “bad” ones, you can’t experiencerepparttar 126163 “good” ones, to aboutrepparttar 126164 same degree.

I’m reminded of a friend who told me in one breath aboutrepparttar 126165 death of his mother, andrepparttar 126166 birth of his first child, as if he were reportingrepparttar 126167 Dow Jones forrepparttar 126168 day.

His inability to deal with his grief and anger at his mother, rendered him unable to rejoice atrepparttar 126169 birth of his daughter. Foregoing pleasure wasrepparttar 126170 price he paid for being numb.

Our emotions are our guides. Anger tells us something is wrong we need to deal with. And even if “you” choose to ignore it, your body isn’t. It will talk to you in migraines, back pain, ulcers, depression, and fibromyalgia.

Anger compromisesrepparttar 126171 immune system. Illness ensues. It isn’t a question of whether or not you can ignore it; you can’t. It’s whether you’re mindful of it or not.

It will also talk to you in aborted careers, shattered relationships, and damaged children. “The sins ofrepparttar 126172 fathers are visited uponrepparttar 126173 sons,” refers to legacies of dysfunction.


We have a long communal history of judging our anger and finding it “bad”. It’s hard to accept. It makes us somehow “not nice.” The physiological response to it doesn’t feel good, and we wish it would go away. We want to be “calmed down; at least those of us who aren’t so addicted to it we’re living in a state of hostility, onrepparttar 126174 verge of going postal, walking time bombs, coronaries waiting to happen.

Internet Marketing Psychology & Intriguing Facts

Written by Steven Hands - "The Mind Manipulation Marketer"

Time Management

Ever asked yourself, where doesrepparttar time go?

It seems that this hectic lifestyle in which we live, many in internet business haverepparttar 126139 complaint, "there's just not enough time inrepparttar 126140 day" to get allrepparttar 126141 work required done. This proves especially true with companies running their internet business like a one man band, as many do. This is why time management is an extremely important factor in producing quantitive, yet quality results, day in day out.

Research suggests that more than half of our lives (on average) is a waste of time.

* We spend 5 years standing in line. * 2 years trying to return telephone calls. * 8 months opening direct mail. * 6 years eating food. * 1 year looking for misplaced objects. * 4 years doing general household chores. * 25 years sleeping.

Out of an 80 year life span a total of 43 years are consumed with trivial, boring tasks that seem to occupyrepparttar 126142 majority of our free time. With another 20 years being consumed by work it leaves little time torepparttar 126143 imagination if you don't have a daily time management system in place.

So I ask you this.

How many ofrepparttar 126144 30,000 odd days of our life do you spend onrepparttar 126145 pursuit of your interests, dreams and self satisfactions?

In a business sense, our only limited resource is time. So how much money we make is a direct reflection of how we use our time.

The clock is ticking, put it to good use.

Memory & Images

The subconscious mind, more commonly referred to inrepparttar 126146 field of psychology asrepparttar 126147 unconscious mind, not only stores words and memories of a literal sense, but this generally untapped realm ofrepparttar 126148 mind also has an images folder. Automaticallyrepparttar 126149 unconscious mind takes a capture shot and attaches it torepparttar 126150 corresponding literal aspect ofrepparttar 126151 moment.

More times than not from an internet marketing perspective, in my research,repparttar 126152 memory that a potential client forms of a visit to your website is primarily created byrepparttar 126153 images they see,repparttar 126154 words these images convey are autonomously sucked up byrepparttar 126155 unconscious mind to form a relevant or not so relevant memory.

This giving some stable meaning torepparttar 126156 age old saying "a picture paints a thousand words".

So if you were thinking before reading this article thatrepparttar 126157 look and feel of your website is inconsequential or secondary torepparttar 126158 literal content conveyed, think again!

So if you want to instil a relevant memory of your website in your visitors mind don't overlookrepparttar 126159 power of creative imagery. If you don't make an impression with your imagery then a not so relevant memory will be formed and filed DEEP inrepparttar 126160 shadow realms of your potential customers unconscious mind, never to be retrieved again.

Focussing The Minds Of Others In The Direction You Want

Here are a couple of quick exercises that prove a point.

Exercise #1 - Close your eyes momentarily and forrepparttar 126161 period of approximately 1 minute I want you to do try and achieverepparttar 126162 following.

Do NOT think of a black dog for 1 minute. Do it now.

Did you have major difficulty NOT thinking of that black dog for a whole minute? No matter how hard you tried that damn black dog just kept running on into your mind right?

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