Jason is a division manager at a large manufacturing plant. He has a reputation for being very loyal to company, hard working, bright, and dedicated to building customer loyalty. Due to his stellar performance record, none of his supervisors have ever mentioned his “flaw.” He is unable to express his anger, frustration, and impatience with his staff in appropriate ways. A simple request can be met with: “You figure it out. I have eight other things to tend to,” Or, “Why do you care if I handled your customer myself….I took care of it. That’s all that matters.” Or, “I already showed you that procedure. Weren’t you listening?”

Michael is a top executive in a high tech company. He is an extraordinary achiever. He has landed many contracts, headed up innumerable successful projects, and has been a key contributor overall. His whole identity is with job. His normal workday starts at 8am and ends between 9 or 10pm. On Saturdays and Sundays he puts in 4-5 hours to “catch up.” His behavior is generally positive, albeit bossy, during day, but if someone catches him at work after 6pm, he is known to snap at them, be sarcastic, and on occasion, even yell. He doesn’t handle his anger or frustration appropriately.

Mina is a super star in her sales department. She was recruited from a competitor for her years of experience and her superior expertise. Her new boss didn’t realize when hiring her that she is very self-centered, arrogant, and suffers from an inflated ego. In meetings, she puts down others’ ideas as “stupid,” she finds questions inconvenient, and she continually criticizes company. Her condescending attitude has become a major issue for her supervisor.

Through ages, we have tried to understand, control and appropriately express our anger and frustrations. Anger is a very powerful emotion that can be misused when not controlled, but can also be useful when strategically aimed to make a point. What follows are some guidelines on how we can use anger properly and how we can coach others to do same.

Anger feels justified. Anger or frustration is a natural response to certain stimuli. When we feel wronged, when our feelings are hurt, when we are disappointed, when we witness someone else being mistreated, when we are not being listened to, or when we keep experiencing a repeated mistake or breakdown, we can get angry or frustrated.

Each of us learned different ways to express our anger. Some totally suppress it, others show it in facial expressions, some sigh, others raise their voice or make a fist, some stomp their feet, some cry, and others complain incessantly. Most of us let anger control our reactions. In a few easy steps, and with some disciplined practice, you can learn to control anger.

Take a moment to cool off before doing anything. It’s key to notice immediately when you are starting to feel frustrated, impatient or angry. At first inkling of impatience, take a few deep breaths and focus on something else.

Change pattern. Do whatever you can to change situation. Get out of line of fire. Leave area for a few minutes, if possible. Change subject. Move physically. Take a short time out.

Turning a group into a team is one of biggest challenges leaders face. We find ourselves leading groups of very diverse individuals in complex projects and tasks. We don’t always get to hand pick our team, but rather we often inherit teams and all of their past baggage. Whatever state of group, we all need team skills. A recent report, “Office of future: 2005”, states that following skills are essential for future career success: strong people skills, ability to communicate effectively and leadership to build teams.

A group becomes a team when you treat them like a high level, high profile project. You need to define your desired outcomes, set measurable goals, design your game plan with benchmarks and deadlines, and keep everyone focused.

The basic definition of a team is: “a small number of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common purpose, performance goals, and an approach for which they hold themselves mutually accountable.” (Katzenbach and Smith, 1993) This is a good starting point for defining your desired outcomes.

Team Outcome Checklist: 1.What is our ideal size? 2.What skills do we have, need to add? 3.What is our mission and purpose? 4.How does each individual contribute to it? 5.Do we mutually set, track, and meet specific performance goals? 6.Do we regularly self-evaluate? 7.Do we set and live by behavioral ground rules? 8.Do we hold ourselves accountable? 9.Do our results come from a collective effort?

If any of these ingredients are missing, you will be functioning more like a group than a team. I was recently asked to coach a team that had identified some interpersonal conflicts. They wanted a neutral party to facilitate problem-solving sessions. They are a team of five high achievers, who each had clear individual goals. One of them even stated: “I don’t see why we even meet as a team when we have nothing in common.” When I probed to find some evidence of collective work effort on any goals, I could not find any. However, when they talked, in depth, about their individual roles, purpose and objectives, they started to see some of potential interconnections. The more they learned about each other, more they could see commonalities. It turned out that their conflicts were primarily due to their isolation, and lack of teamwork. As communication opened up, new, creative ways to work were identified.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “No member of a crew is praised for rugged individuality of his rowing.” Effective teams do not encourage heroes or superstars. They look for ways to maximize their resources and build on each other’s strengths and diversity.

On surface, it may seem easier to work with people of similar styles, thinking and background, but diversity brings richness to a team. Leaders and team members should value, encourage, and reward diversity. This means equal treatment and opportunity for people of all races, ethnic backgrounds, lifestyles, medical conditions, and for both genders.

Most teams today deal with global and diverse marketplace, necessitating need for a diverse group of talent. Think about diversity as “differences.” A diverse team can bring together individuals with different backgrounds, different approaches and different ways of thinking. An outstanding team is one with no factions. It is team without subgroups of any type. It is total lack of a “we” vs. “they” attitude.

An effective leader is one who embraces differences, respects disagreement, honors those who question processes and direction, and doesn’t surround him or herself with “yes” people.