The answer is: Another person’s religious beliefs are important to you to degree they’re important to you. This may sound like begging question, but it’s an important thing to ‘get’. Assuming you’re looking for marriage, you need to make a “must have” and “can’t stand” list. If certain religious beliefs go into either group, pay attention to them, because you won’t be happy if they aren’t there (or are and shouldn’t be) and relationship won’t work in long run.

Begging question is what Zen koans are all about; those maddening “answers” that “master” gives when novice asks a question. He seems to answer all around something without coming out and saying it. Why is this important? Because master is also teaching novice how to think and how to answer his own questions.

The master answers so that learner understands they’re either asking a question no one knows answer to (like “Will this man make good children?), or it’s a question you don’t need an answer to in order to get on with your life (like, “Will this man go bald when he gets old?”), or that you know answer as well as anyone else, you just don’t know it by reason (which is limited) and you can’t accept that (like, “Are we compatible?”), or that only you can answer (like, “Is this right man for me?”).

In case of religious beliefs, emotionally intelligent thing to do is to figure out what you want (work with a coach for clarity; it’s worth it) and then experience person.

It’s important to formulate you spiritual “must haves” and “can’t stands” in correct way. Do you mean adherence to a certain set of principals as espoused by a certain faith, such as being Methodist, or Buddhist? Do you need someone to agree with every word you say about it?

Or do you want person to believe in certain spiritual principals which could be compatible with various faiths? Does it matter to you more how person argues their faith verbally in their head, or how they live it in their daily actions and behaviors? Some people live in a way that’s very compatible with certain faiths, though they may not officially belong to any religious organization. Some religions require only faith; others require certain actions.

If you want to see certain values and principals in action, what are they? Honesty? The Golden Rule? Compassion? Kindness?

I do encourage you to take time to see how person lives out their principals. It’s easy to say you believe in charity. It’s not so easy to tithe.

Now since we began with koans, here is one to help you understand how to go about this, from Lao Tzu: “A tree that is unbending is easily broken.” This is referring to EQ competency of flexibility.

Choosing a good life partner is a matter of both head and heart. I know all self-help experts out there are telling to make a list, make a list, but, really, your common sense will tell you that people don’t conform to lists. That’s why you’re still looking, right? Most of clients who've come to me for relationship coaching have list that don't work in real world. In other words, they only make sense on paper.

You’ve met a pretty lady on a matcher maker website and you’ve both planned to hook up at a local coffee shop to meet in person for first time. You’re quite excited by this meet and greet as you think she is quite a hottie. But once you get there, anxiety kicks in and you feel your heart about to jump out of your throat as you head to approach her.

Yes, she is even more beautiful then pictures she had shown you, this has in turn created even more anxiety, and as you go to greet her suddenly, your mind draws a blank, you look for some words desperately to pull from your mind to say to her, you’ve managed to stutter out a sentence and your not even sure if it had made any sense!

Well, maybe you haven't experienced that exact same scenario; however I'm sure you've probably experienced something similar. That is just one of many examples of anxiety when approaching women.

The good news is, there are ways of eliminating this type of anxiety. I will show you one of methods you can use right now in order to put a stop to your mind drawing a blank.

The first thing you need to do is to pre-plan some of your conversations with lady in question.

The absolute best way to do this is to get a piece of pen and paper to write down what you plan to talk about. Writing it down, will help it sink into your subconscious so you’re less likely to draw a blank when you approach her. Also, after you have written down some topics you plan to speak with her about, read it over and over again, and play scenario over in your mind.

1. Plan Your Greeting – Make sure you make eye contact and stand with good posture. Making good eye contact and standing with good posture will give her impression that you have high confidence – women are very attracted to a man that is confident. And you will feel more relaxed when you positive reaction she will give when you exert this type of confidence.