Crystal Healing

Ask and you shall receive!! Persuaded by popular demand, I have created a comprehensive list of magical, healing and vibrational uses of popular crystals and stones. Below I have listed some of more common and accessible "rocks" out there (let's face it we all can't afford that diamond, emerald or sapphire) that can be bought unpolished or tumbled in New Age or natural science stores. Just carrying one of these rocks in your pocket, placing it in a prominent place in your home or wearing it as a piece of jewelry can help raise your vibration to achieve a desired effect. Rock on!!! Agate: strengthens sight, promotes fidelity, increases perceptions, awakens hidden talents Amber: absorbs negative energy and transforms it into positive energy, calms nerves, healing Amethyst: balances emotions, prevents psychic attack, calming, good for nerves, stops addiction Aquamarine: balances thyroid, helps teeth, increases intelligence, activates memory of past lives Bloodstone: purifies blood, liver and kidneys, rapid healing, courage, living in "here and now" Carnelian: dispels laziness, rage, jealousy, envy and fear, good for acting, writing and creativity Citrine: money drawing, cheering, clears aura Coral: heals bones, quiets emotions, stimulates imagination and connection to spirit guides Cat's Eye: happiness, luck, serenity, protection, relieves headaches, improves night vision Fluorite: brings order to chaos, helps to see reality behind illusion, protects from infections and viruses Garnet: love, devotion, commitment, gets rid of feelings of abandonment, disorders of spine Hematite: improves intellect, protection, transforms negative energy to positive, attracts love Jade: fidelity, devotion, love-drawing, lucid dreaming, intuition,

New Age Tortures

I'll admit it ... I'm a spiritual tramp. I've spent last few years slutting around, looking for a cure for all my aches and pains. So far only thing I seem to have cured is my curiosity. This morning, as I rose from my bed, feeling worse than ever, I found myself summing up total experience of my New Age Vision Quest with one Monty Python line: "Nobody ever expects Spanish Inquisition!" For like Spanish Inquisition, goal of New Age Therapies is to get you to confess -- for instance -- you're lying on a table, all blissed out, and then suddenly some healer, with a gentle voice sticks a needle attached to an electrode in between your front and second toe, mumbles something about "activating Chi in your angry liver" and then walks away with a sadistic chuckle telling you"it's all right to scream if you want" while recalling painful childhood memories.

For all of you that are not familiar with many New Age Tortures out there let me demystify magic behind some of these healing practices:

Cranio-Sacral Therapy: A healer bids you to lie down on a white-sheeted table. Time to relax? Mais, non. It is time for Spanish Inquisition! After explaining that bony plates in your skull are not unlike shifting tectonic plates beneath earth's crust, causing all manner of nervous upsets, migraines and general unwellness, healer cradles your head in his hands and begins to squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until you feel just like Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind, (in that scene where Clark Gable tries to physically squeeze memory of Ashley Wilkes out of Vivian Leigh's head.) While healer has your head in his vise-like grip he will urge you to confess some deep, dark memory of hidden child-abuse or forgotten head injury (like time you banged your head on sharp corner of coffee table when you were six years old,) When you don't confess, healer rebukes you by sighing and acting generally disappointed and requests that you come back for another appointment.