I don't usually get too excited about what I read in news. After all, what can I do about it? But one item I recently saw made me jump up out of my chair.
I rushed over to my clever lawyer's office.
"Look at this!" I proclaimed as I burst into his office.
Clever Lawyer said nothing. His client echoed his words with her ruby red lips.
I placed newspaper on his desk.
"Happy Guy, what are you doing here?" he wanted to know. "We don't have a meeting."
"Just look at this headline." I demanded, ignoring his irritating obsession with minute details. "We should take action immediately."
Slowly, Clever Lawyer picked up newspaper and read headline. His eyes returned to me. "This says that Monsanto is suing Oakhurst Dairy for labels on their milk reading 'no artificial growth hormones'. What does that have to do with you?"
"Don't you see?" I asked incredulously. "Monsanto makes rBST, an artificial hormone for milk cows. It looks like they think label on Oakhurst Dairy milk hurts their business because it implies that milk from their hormone-treated cows is inferior."
"I don't see what it has to do with you," Clever Lawyer said.
"Yes, I don't see what it has to do with you," Ruby Red chimed in.
"It has everything to do with me," I replied. "Look here. See this book about happiness? Top Publisher printed 'New York Times Bestseller' right on cover. Can you believe it?"
"Oh yeah, I've heard of this book," Clever Lawyer smiled. "It's supposed to be quite good. In fact, I recall seeing it on New York Times bestseller list."
"Exactly," I exclaimed. "Let's sue Top Publisher for everything he's got."
"Why?" Clever Lawyer wanted to know, much to my surprise.
"Yes, why?" Ruby Red also wanted to know.
"Because he is claiming his book is a New York Times bestseller," I explained in exasperation.