A.Can you change your personality? You cannot change your basic temperament styles but you can influence your behaviors and thereby your personality. The biggest mistake I've seen is someone who has "put on" behaviors that were not theirs' naturally until it has become habitual. It is almost always obvious and often painful. An example is a phlegmatic who felt is necessary to put on an outgoing sanguine style for so many years that it has become a habit; however it is clear that this is not their natural way of being. B.Can you change someone else's personality? If you can't change you own, it is clear that you can't change someone else's but that won't stop most of us from trying. This is an special problem in marriage and child raising if
spouse or parent thinks other person can be "improved" on. In Dicken's David Copperfield, Mr. Murdstone and his sister fatally try to impress their choleric nature on sanguine Mrs. Copperfield. Husbands and wives who think they will change their spouse may affect some behavior changes and think they have "changed" them. Changes are only fully implemented when they come from within person and then they will still be in line with their basic temperament style.
C.Why do people so often marry opposite temperament? The first person to find out underlying answer to this one will retire wealthy. Seriously, what attracts us to another person? Often it is strengths we see in them that we do not have temperamentally. A choleric woman may appreciate easygoing nature of phlegmatic. A disorganized Sanguine appreciates orderly manner of a melancholy. Unfortunately, over time, we realize that our natural strengths are usually their natural weaknesses, which can cause friction or even a feeling of betrayal; that is, "if he really loved me, he wouldn't be so disorganized, or angry, or rigid".
D.Why do different temperament types irritate us? Again, it's usually a matter of strengths and weaknesses. A straightforward choleric is irritated by a highly verbal sanguine. A highly organized melancholy finds a phlegmatic's laid back nature to go "against their grain". The phlegmatic is most likely to ignore these irritations. The choleric is most likely to bring them out in open.
E.Is one temperament "better" than another? Each of us is who we are - we were made that way based on inherited temperament characteristics. Each temperament type at some time thinks another type is "better" but that feeling is usually related to something they admire in that person that they cannot do easily. So a quiet phlegmatic envies sanguines easy outgoing manner and disorganized sanguine may envy melancholy's natural organization. Each type is better at some things and worse at others. The trick is to match personality to situation - which very rarely happens in normal life.
F.How does knowing my temperament help me? "Why do I do things I do?" is a question many of us have asked ourselves at one time or another. Temperament study gives us insight into some of those "whys". A choleric with a quick temper, talkative sanguine, or organized melancholy now have an underlying reason for behavior. The trick is not to let temperament become an excuse for negative behavior.
G.What jobs are best for each temperament type? Again there are many other factors to consider but in general cholerics make good leaders (managers or executives) if they can control their tendency to criticize and get angry. Sanguines make good teachers if they can keep themselves organized. Phlegmatics make good counselors or pastors; anywhere where noncritical listening and relating can be helpful. Melancholies are good anywhere organization is important including law and medical professions. Cholerics don't like jobs where easygoing relating to others is important. Phlegmatics don't care for jobs where they must be outgoing and talkative. Melancholies detest jobs where they have little control over their circumstances and sanguines don't like jobs where they must work alone for periods of time.
