“S”: Simple is exactly that. Simple. Do not make it too complicated, or long and drawn out. Most people should be able to understand what it is. If it is a goal around some specific field, most of your colleagues should be able to understand your target.

“S”: Sensory involves all of your senses. You use your sense of vision. You hear things in this picture and movie. You smell things in your movie of your target. You feel things, both with your hands and with your emotions. In your picture, you have internal voice in your head that you always have. You put all of these different senses into your picture, as well as most important one, inner knowing of your heart brain. Make sure to get that in picture or movie as well.

“S”: Specific. This is best illustrated with an example. I have moved many times in my life. Every time I moved, I created a list of what I want. And every time there was a fireplace on that list. The first time, I was looking at a place that had everything I wanted but a fireplace. I mentioned this to landlord and she laughed. She took me into unfinished basement, and there was a plastic fireplace in basement. I learned from this, and when I was looking for next place I put a real fireplace on my list. I found a place that had everything except a fireplace. I said this to landlord and he said that there was a fireplace. It was just boarded up behind wall. The next place I moved into, I put a real working fireplace on list of what I wanted. I found a place with a real working fireplace this time, but landlord would not let me use it. So finally I put on my list “a real working fireplace I can use.” And next time, I got it. You need to be specific.

“M”: Measurable. There must be some specific way in which you measure results, a quantifiable way that you know goal is achieved.

As I can imagine it is painful to watch someone you love and care for deeply go through what may appear as quite self destructing. Of course it affects you and takes its toll on you especially if you are living with a sufferer.

I saw what it was doing to my husband (who nearly lost his job due to me constantly calling him telling him I needed to go to hospital or I needed him to be with me). I saw my family’s heart just sink as they watched me lose my job due to my anxiety and panic disorder.

I wouldn’t go visit them (they lived out of town and I was too frightened to travel). I couldn’t look them in eye because I always felt I was gasping for air and I knew very well I wasn’t a pretty sight for eyes. And of course I really did hate hearing “you’re over re-acting”.

If you are reading this then you are clearly looking for some answers for your loved one and I truly commend you for caring so deeply for their well-being. What you are doing will not be forgotten and one day they will be strong enough to thank you for your support. I also believe in karma, what goes around comes around; no good deed goes without reward.

Here is how you can play a part in helping your loved one to become well.