Part I of this article explored how strategies of Neuro-Linguistic Programing (NLP) can be used to gain instant rapport with clients, leads, and business associates, and more specifically, how to use physiology, matching and mirroring, to create instant magic communications.

Now, how can tonality and words establish rapport?

TONALITY

While physiology accounts for 55% of communication among humans, tonality accounts for 38%. Most people have had experience of someone saying, “I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.” While literal words indicate that this person doesn’t have a problem, everyone knows that tone used can speak louder than words.

Someone yelling “I’m not mad,” isn’t convincing. If this happens in a sitcom, we laugh. In real life, we dismiss words and read meaning from tone of voice. Often tonality is more subtle than these examples, but it is still a powerful communicator. Boredom, excitement, anger, melancholy, disbelief, questions, enthusiasm, honesty are more often communicated through tone, rather than words.

What do you wish to communicate to clients, leads, or business associates? Make your tonality appropriate.

Many people do business exclusively over phone. When talking on phone, it is crucial to be aware of tonality. In a phone conversation, both people are communicating via their tonality, often unconsciously. Don’t leave tonality to chance. Enthusiasm, charm, friendliness as well as boredom, depression, and annoyance are communicated through sound.

TONALITY

Tonality includes: Tone (pitch: high, low) Tempo (speed: slow, fast) Timbre (quality: clear, raspy) Volume (loudness)

If you are talking to someone, who has a high-pitched voice raise your pitch a little. Like matching and mirroring, you don’t want to imitate. Don’t be dramatic, be subtle. Match last few words someone says.

Speed is important. People who talk fast are often impatient with people who speak slower. People who speak at a slow speed are often turned off by people who speak rapidly. For someone who naturally speaks fast, slower speaking people seems to take forever to say something. For someone who naturally speaks slowly, fast talker seems hyper, insincere. The cliche “fast talking city slicker” captures this idea.

I was in New York giving a presentation; person who presented before I did took more than her a lotted time. My presentation was cut short. I began speaking at what I considered high speed and told everyone that I was talking fast because I wanted to get through my entire presentation. Several audience members laughed and said, “We’re New Yorkers. No matter how fast you talk, it won’t be too fast.” I couldn’t match their speed. In contrast to New Yorkers, I visited a friend in Georgia whose southern drawl was slow, hypnotic, and relaxed.

Notice timbre and volume! Volume of voice can be very effective with someone who is angry. A few years ago, I unwittingly angered another professor. As he became more angry, his voice grew louder. I kept my voice low and soft, believing that would calm him. I watched rather mystified as he grew more angry as I controlled my voice, trying to sound calm and in control.

If someone is angry, try matching volume of his voice without matching anger. It might feel strange, but matching volume creates rapport.

If you are, as a small business, you may actually be hurting your sales.

Lowering your prices can easily cut into not only profits, but number of sales you make. It lowers perceived value of merchandise or service you're offering.

Oftentimes, in eyes of average consumer, cheap is cheap, and you get what you pay for. Deep discounters never sell 'top of line' merchandise.

The single most important thing you sell is trust, no matter what product, or range of products may be. In that trust relationship customer expect you to deliver a top quality product or service at a reasonable, but not cut rate, price.

Cut rate prices break down trust relationship - idea becomes: How can it be so cheap and still be any good?