Country Pastimes 3: Impromptu farm concertsWritten by Simon Mitchell
Since demise of foxhunting and hunting with dogs in countryside, there are thousands of dispossessed toffs wandering around with nothing to do. To compensate we offer here new shape of country activities.
I was in garden playing a guitar that attracted attention of a small bird. It positioned itself overhead in willow tree and proceeded to drop caterpillars from leaves onto my head - feeding me as a reward for music. It made me wonder how much wild or farm animals might like music.
The photographs here evidence an impromptu harmonica concert given to a field of bullocks. I played No Place Like Hometo lead bullock, who warmed up gradually and called his mates over for a gander. I positioned myself safely in hedgerow, well out of reach in case they should mob me in their fervour for music. Slowly moshing pit formed as they edged in to listen.
They nodded along to Frere Jacques keeping surprisingly accurate tempo with their tails. It was not until I played Going to Alabama with a Banjo on my Knee that a couple of them started dancing, doing a little shimmy with their front hooves that was very similar to dance Hank Marvin and Shadows used to do.
The Bare Truth About My Butt QuizWritten by Timothy Ward
Forget about SAT, never mind FCAT, and remove forever from you mind any thoughts about ACT. All these test pale in comparision to examination that I just failed. Failing those test may have minor repurcussions like never making it into college and therefore being forced to work at fast food resturants well into you 40's. That's nothing. I just flunked a quiz that could scar me for life.
This morning I was doing my usual morning ritual of checking my email and all my affiliate programs to see if I had made any money online yesterday. I hadn't, in fact I never do, but I've found it's a great way to waste an hour or two. What usually happens is I get sidetracked by some banner or pop-up and I end up lost in middle of cyberspace signing up for a free registration to some weird website just so I can get a free ebook with a title like 'Online Profits From Artichoke Juice!". This morning, however, I stumbled across a real winner. I came across a link that I just had to click. I was at JokesUnlimited.com reading redneck jokes when I saw 'Fun Quizzes: Can you guess which butts are male or female?
From extreme look of excitement in your eyes I can tell that you feel same way I felt when I saw Butt Quiz link. My first thought was: 'Pictures of female butts! Yeeeessss! And it's a quiz so I don't have to feel dirty about it. It's educational! Yeeeesssss! I immediately clicked link and started my quiz.
In hindsight(no pun intended), expression 'Fools Rush In' comes to mind. I blindly rushed into this quiz in a testosterone induced urge to look at female hindparts and I forgot to think whole thing through. I forgot to take a moment and reflect. I forgot that there were going to be male hindparts on quiz too. Hairy male hindparts. In thongs.