by Karon Thackston © 2003 http://www.copywritingcourse.com
I’ve always loved scented candles. They help create a cozy atmosphere. They give you a relaxed feeling. And - most importantly - they make your home smell wonderful! So, naturally, I was excited when I was approached to rewrite index (front) page for an online retailer who made specialty, soy scented candles.
The goals of copywriting rewrite were to increase sales and improve search engine positioning for terms “soy candles,” and “scented candles.” The copy definitely needed some work. It wasn’t “bad,” but it had one major thing holding it back. The copy violated one of primary rules of copywriting. “It’s not about you… it’s about them.”
An additional problem was that information - while definitely necessary - was presented as more of a list of nuts and bolts. It needed a boost to create a “feeling” about candles for sale.
As you can see from original version, http://www.copywritingcourse.com/IlluminousTimes-BEFORE.doc, copy either focused on company or candles. Very little of copy focused on customer.
Another element that was “off” in copy was lack of “experience.” Site owner Dan Fehn had some fabulous research data about scented candle buyers, however he did not know to include that information when writing.
Lastly, while Illuminous Times had fairly good search engine rankings, there was room for improvement.
The data I received included following information from National Candle Association.
Candle industry research indicates that most important factors affecting candle sales are scent, color, cost and shape. Fragrance is by far most important characteristic, with three-fourths of candle purchasers saying it is "extremely important" or "very important" in their selection of a candle for home.
Candle manufacturers' surveys show that 96% of all candles purchased are bought by women.
Nine out of ten candle users say they use candles to make a room feel comfortable or cozy.
This was basis for copywriting makeover. As a scented candle lover myself, I knew for a fact what women wanted from candles. I understood candle buying experience and played on that knowledge to create copy that “romanced” site visitor and increased desire to buy.