How well you deliver complaints may not only dictate
end results of specific situation, but could set tone for how your employer and co-workers view you as a team player....We all run into situations about which we are not pleased, and in many cases have a need to voice our dissatisfaction to someone, either to vent or to achieve satisfaction. This is called “complaining,” and how well you deliver complaints may not only dictate end results of specific situation, but could set tone for how your employer and co-workers view you as a team player.
Most of us do not like chronic complainers – in fact, most of us don’t like complainers chronic or not. Did you ever stop to wonder why?
People have a right to voice their displeasure – it is most often in their best interest to do so and in many cases complaints are catalyst to improvement of a product, system, service or process. So, what is it we don’t like about process of complaining, complaints or complainers?
I think we can get to heart of matter by examining dictionary.com definition of two words, complaints and complain.
Complaints are defined as expressions of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment or a cause or reason for complaining; a grievance. Complain is defined as an act to express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment, or an act to make a formal accusation or bring a formal charge.
If a complaint always remained simple expression of dissatisfaction, we probably wouldn’t have much trouble. So what is problem then – I believe it is summed up in one word “Accusation”. Many people feel in order to voice complaints they must also find reason and fault for bad situation.
Most assertiveness training specialists will tell you to always state your concerns in form of what they call “I Statements,” relating only impact of offending actions on you, never making an accusation or blaming anyone for your discomfort or lack of satisfaction.
So, then let’s take an objective look at this – it’s ok to be dissatisfied and it’s ok to voice dissatisfaction to appropriate place or person – what isn’t ok?
It’s not appropriate to lay blame for your dissatisfaction on a person or on something for which an individual is responsible. An accusation in whatever form is most likely to offend. It’s pretty easy to understand then that your concern should be couched in some way that does not hint of an accusation or a threat.
From observing people over years, many people feel if they take their complaints first to highest level of authority results will be faster and more satisfactory. I actually believe this is very untrue and is at heart of many common workplace disputes.
