Coming Of Age

Written by Dr. Dorree Lynn

A Valentine For Grown-Ups

And All Those Who Will Someday Be Over Fifty

At age 49, I was walking withrepparttar man I was dating, ambling along a lovely rural road. Inrepparttar 126295 distance we saw a couple perhaps in their nineties walking slowly, holding hands. Studying them onrepparttar 126296 quiet country road, he turned to me and said, "if we are fortunate, that will be us — in bed as well as walking”. I knew I wanted to age with wisdom, and companionship, love and sex. A good man was getting harder to find. A hard man, for whom both love and sex mattered, was getting even harder to find. I married him.

I grew up in a society that stubbornly clung to negative images about elders loving and having sex. The thought of older people making love still tends to stir reactions ranging from amusement to disgust. The idea of couples in their 80’s or 90’s having intercourse remains unfathomable torepparttar 126297 younger set. Unfortunately, it remains unspeakable to most of those having it as well. Love is an experience that can be quiet or loud, but not carnal. And, if it is physical at all, it is best kept underrepparttar 126298 covers and out of conversation.

I had a paucity of role models for what I wanted. And, I knew from my friends, I was not alone. Since our parents’ generation didn’t have our freedom or our views, they couldn’t model our needs. They didn’t discuss love, relationships or sex. Tripping and falling, my friends and I finally forged our own confusing paths defining love and sexuality for grownups. We found that love didn’t always include marriage but sex and love were a dynamite combination.

Every six seconds, an American man or woman entersrepparttar 126299 love and sexual wilderness of life after 50. There are close to 60 million of us in our mid-50s to over 100. We are boomers, seniors, wise and sexy elders. We crisscross and belong to all walks-of-life. At no point inrepparttar 126300 course of history have we lived so long and expected so much of human relationships. Yet when it comes to love and sex, we remain somewhere betweenrepparttar 126301 gray and dark ages.

Living Virtually: Missing Reality

Written by Dorree Lynn

I have a dear friend, Diana whom I used to meet for lunch quite often. Lately work has had her traveling between three cities. I miss her terribly. I also have another close friend, Josh who used to live in my city. Josh and his wife now live in another state and Josh and I frequently communicate by e-mail. Both of these relationships have evolved into virtual friendships. These electronically based friendships have become remarkably frank, candid and even loving connections. I still loverepparttar people, but I am starting to hate our connection.

I understand thatrepparttar 126294 net has many positive aspects. One of them isrepparttar 126295 ability to communicate quickly across territorial boundaries and to connect with friends and family all overrepparttar 126296 world. I like e-mailing my children when I know it is too late to call them knowing that when they awaken they will have a “letter” from mom. I like knowing I can contact my husband, or he me, if we are apart. I like allrepparttar 126297 information I can disseminate and find so very quickly. I likerepparttar 126298 easy sense of camaraderie and community I have with colleagues who belong torepparttar 126299 same organizations that I do or who live far away. There are all kinds of things I like aboutrepparttar 126300 net.

Truth be told, I dislike aspects ofrepparttar 126301 net and especially e-mail more than I like it. I haterepparttar 126302 disembodied exchanges between souls who once maintained a real life basis for trust, anger, joy and love. I missrepparttar 126303 intimate inflections of real voices during conversations, or seeingrepparttar 126304 expressive hand gestures that belong to one of my kids. I missrepparttar 126305 sound of a friend’s voice overrepparttar 126306 phone as we type more and talk less. I haterepparttar 126307 massive amounts of thoughtless mail that clog my screen just because someone couldn’t sleep and decided to send everyone in their address book a tasteless joke. I am impatient with allrepparttar 126308 petitions I am asked to sign, andrepparttar 126309 spam mail that I get. I miss going torepparttar 126310 library as often as I once did and havingrepparttar 126311 librarian introduce me to an unexpected reading treasure. Mostly though, I am sad because I know that soon, many people will barely knowrepparttar 126312 difference between a virtual and a real connection. I don’t want to become one of them.

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