Have you ever taken an action and wondered why? Each day we are faced with literally thousands of choices. Some occupy our thoughts on a conscious level, some do not. I thought about color of tie I would wear today, but I gave little thought to turn I made out of my driveway, I just took it. Each of these were choices. Have you ever wondered why you make choices you make?

After years of teaching golf, I discovered that many things that people do are done passively, without thought or planning. Tiger Woods does not think about how he grips club in a tournament, he does it by “feel”. Yet when he practices, he may take great care in adjusting his grip to optimum position each and every time he grips club. When driving a car in excess of two-hundred miles per hour, Dale Earnhardt Jr. doesn’t think about how he will move wheel, he does it naturally.

These are examples of learned responses, things that are done almost by second nature by performer and they are very similar to learned responses we all have in our lives. Each of us has things we do almost subconsciously, you may visit a drive through coffee virtually without thinking about it. Marketers know this and they prey on our habits, our learned responses. McDonalds and other fast food restaurants have spent billions of dollars to train us to effortlessly and thoughtlessly spend our money on a number four with a large diet coke.

Have you ever observed people at work and how they will instinctively reply to question “how are you today?“ Some will reply, great!, some, fair to middlin‘, and some I’m tired. How can someone be tired first thing in morning? Ok, perhaps a rough night every once in a while, but these folks are tired every day. To quote Earl Nightingale, “they are just reciting their lines.” Learned responses are a part of our every day life. “How are you today?” The response is same each and every day; “fine!” Rarely to we examine conditioned, learned responses we give and where they come from. More important is effect they have on our lives - learned responses we have dramatically effect our lives by providing us with our perceived reality.

What if we could alter perception of our reality? What if we had, literally and perceptively, no limits? What could we accomplish? What could we do? How happy could we possibly be?

In order to destroy our self imposed limits, we must examine their origin and validity of them. Each of our learned responses, our locked assumptions can be traced to one of Your Ten Relationships in Life.

Yes, many of us cry over break ups and unrequited love. Or even, from ill treatments of a spouse. And why do we? Because we as humans are prone to emotions.

Love is an emotion. And a most powerful one at that. Without it our lives will be incomplete. No matter form it takes—whether it is amorous or platonic or agape—it’s same. But before you call me a “hopeless romantic” I will ask this: Would you rather exist like a machine? Or as a fictional android—human-looking robots—knowing no love?

But love, however, should not be confused with sex. These are two different things. Sex is a physical act. (We do it for pleasure.) Love on other hand is an emotional bond. (It defies common sense.)

I have read and heard many things said about love and sex. But most memorable, for me, is this one from Jason Solomon: “Sex is easy and cheap; love requires work.” And I found it, of all places, in a movie review. (Speak of serendipity.)

Yes, love unlike sex requires work (but some may disagree). Unlike sex, love cannot be bought at spur of moment. Like a Mars bar. Or a one-night stand. It takes time to appreciate. Like real estate. Or a Rolls Royce. Love also requires patience—a lot of it—and forgiveness. Forgiveness?

Yes, forgiveness. You must be willing to forgive those who hurt you. This might not be easy but it is an act which must be done. Because its other alternative is animosity. And this—like acid—corrodes. And this is not good for your mental health. So, forgive.