Chinese HoroscopeWritten by Dr. Jeff Banas
I am not author of this is but it is cool and WERID!Chinese Horoscope, THIS IS TOO FUN...... AMAZINGLY ACCURATE Whatever you do, don't cheat! CHINESE HOROSCOPE : THE YEAR OF THE IRON DRAGON, WISHING YOU PROSPERITY AND GOOD FORTUNE IN THE CHINESE NEW YEAR FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS - DO NOT CHEAT OR IT WON'T WORK AND YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T. TAKE 3 MINUTES TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT. THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO ME SAID HER WISH CAME TRUE 10 MINUTES AFTER SHE FORWARDED THE EMAIL NO CHEATING !!!! THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME. DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT. IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY 1st. Get PEN and PAPER 2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW 3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results. 4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON`T READ AHEAD otherwise YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN. 1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on LEFT. 2. BESIDE NUMBERS 1 &2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS YOU WANT. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER? 3. BESIDE NUMBERS 3 &7, WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.
| | The Story of My Dog and Why You Should CareWritten by BRIAN
The Story of My Dog and Why You Should CareIt all began when I was 11 years old. That day, my mom was taking us (the kids) to Arnold's Hey and Grain, a food store for animals. As we were approaching door, something caught my eye: a little dog (4 months old). The puppy was situated in a cage and was lying down on his tubby little belly. He looked at me with BIG, HUGE, BUG-eyes and whimpered. He looked so sad…so lonely…so isolated. I got down on my hands and knees and said to him, "Hey there, little puppy. You sure look lonely." Then dog looked me straight in eyes and said, "Well duh. I'm stuck in this freakin' cage sleeping in my own business and eating nasty doggy kibble. How about getting me outa here, you mental midget?" I replied with, "Sure thing, dude. I'll buy you or something like that." He rolled his bug eyes at me and stated, "You humans are all same…" I smirked. Well, a few minutes after my encounter, my mom walked out of store with rest of brats. She noticed I was looking at dog and commented about how cute he was. Then I remembered how much I wanted a dog and asked her if I could buy this one (as if I bought a puppy every day). To my astonishment, she said, "Maybe." YESSSS!!!!! She looked in to matter a little more and she decided to ask my dad whether or not we could get a dog. Again to my astonishment, he said, "Maybe." Before I could purchase my furry friend, he made me promise him that I would feed him, brush him, walk him, burp him, change his diaper etc…. Of course I agreed not realizing mess I got my self into. "Yeah whatever." I said, "I'll feed him, brush him, walk him, burp him, and change his diaper etc…" So, we bought little punk. It would take a day before we could actually pick him up. When that day came, I was more then ready to feed him, brush him, walk him, burp him, and change his diapers! When we got him to car, he completely freaked out (I guess he was never in a car before). He jumped over seats, he ran between our legs, he barked at oncoming cars, he screamed, he shouted, and he used words I would never use on this blog. When I asked him why he executed such juvenile behavior, he replied with, "Because I'm a dog, stupid. Plus I was told it's great therapy - you should try it some time." I shrugged and told him I had given that practice up a week ago. It was really difficult to find a name for this dog, so I went through lists of names common to a dog. "Zip, Butch, Rover, Cretan?" I thought to myself. All those names seemed too….stupid. So I named him "Richard." He loved it. As months went by, he seemed to grow larger, more intelligent, but he never did lose his puppy-like features. Taking him on walks was moderately easy, except for one thing: Once he saw a person or location he wished to approach, he would tug and pull and coke himself until he would almost pass out. Once animal rights people noticed this, they stated that this was total animal abuse and demanded they take possession of my dog - at least until they could find a suitable owner. Of course I told them I would do nothing of sort. They did not like my little reply so we got in a gunfight and I won. He he, those losers… One month before he turned 1, he mysteriously developed bad habit of chasing cars (an activity that is commonly executed by dogs). After a few weeks of having my arm pulled off, my mom and I decided that we needed to take some serious action. But before we started beating living waste out of Richard, I decided I needed to have a little "Boy-to-Dog" discussion.
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