Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives double messages, produces anxiety and can be very confusing to your children? Children need to know where they stand in their behaviors. It is therefore critical for parents to resolve their differences in matters of children's discipline.Since divorce parents leave on a separate house, they often differ in their rules and expectations for their children. People tend to view individual differences in terms of right and wrong. The adage holds: "If you are not with me, you are against me." In marriage, people call it incompatibility. In divorce, these differences sometimes resulted to expensive litigation, each trying to force
other to change and stop being different.
The matter of disciplining children can be source of conflict among divorce parents. Each parent has different ideas as to what appropriate discipline should be. Each viewed other's proposal of disciplining as wrong. The consequences of their dispute were that there was ineffective or no discipline at all.
To turn differences into a unified discipline, parents should resolve differences according to children's best interest. They can adopt approach as listed below:
1. Make an agreement with your former spouse on what is realistically expected for your children. These should be based on children's age, their temperament, their ability to follow directions, and divorce structure of family.
2. Come to some meeting of minds on what values are highest priorities for each and on which behaviors you both agree are important to nurture in your children.
