Chasing After Child Support

Written by By Barbara Rose

Child support is often a source of contention between divorced parents of minor children. I understand this. I have been there. In an ideal situation,repparttar parent who is responsible for paying child support does so out of love for his or her children. Unfortunately, many of our post-marital relationships are not ideal. Many parents do not pay child support. Some because they genuinely cannot afford to do so. Others parents simply are not willing to. Inrepparttar 131044 latter case, they resent giving money to their former spouse. Bitterness results. Fighting ensues, andrepparttar 131045 child support enforcement battles begin.

Every parent knows thatrepparttar 131046 financial resources needed to provide children with all they require and ask for is tremendous. Most single parents cannot afford to give their children all they wish they could. I was no different. When I did not receiverepparttar 131047 child support that was agreed upon during my divorce, my reaction was quite common. It turned out to be futile, and tragic, atrepparttar 131048 same time.

I borrowed money from my grandmother, hired an attorney, and went after child support with a vengeance. I had income deduction orders in effect. My former husband was sent to jail twice for failure to obey repeated court orders to pay child support. I was consumed with anger, and I justified my anger by focusing on, and trying to enforce, his responsibilities. However, I could not control his actions. I could not make him fulfill his responsibilities. Atrepparttar 131049 same time, I wasted thousands of borrowed dollars on legal fees that got me nowhere. This issue became a raging source of anguish and hostility between us. What I am about to say may shock you, and yet, I speak from bitter experience. Ifrepparttar 131050 parent refuses to do what is required of them, all you can do is focus on fulfilling that need for yourself and your children, on your own.

When a parent refuses to take responsibility for their children, you cannot change them. Yes, it is wrong. Yes, it is not fair. Yes, it is forrepparttar 131051 children. However, when a parent chooses to do what is right, fair and just for his or her own child, that is solely their choice. No matter how hard you try, you cannot force another person to fulfill their obligations. For when you do, retaliation results inrepparttar 131052 form of revenge.

How to Prevent a Custody Battle After Divorce.

Written by By Barbara Rose

I recently markedrepparttar six-year anniversary of my custody battle. I have learned vital lessons that I want to share with all parents. Divorce yourself emotionally from your former spouse.

Mind your own business. Their life is no longer married to yours.

Our children are not to be fought over like property. Children are not property, and parents do not own them.

The issue is not custody. It is lovingrepparttar 131042 children, sharing parental responsibility for their physical needs, and maintaining open communication betweenrepparttar 131043 parents forrepparttar 131044 sake ofrepparttar 131045 children.

If you file a custody suit out of bitterness, or to get personal revenge, or to avoid sharing parental responsibility with open communication, you commit a crime against your children.

No matter how much you may despise your former spouse, your children are as much a part of their other parent as they are of you.

No matter how much you may dread sharing open, healthy communication with your former spouse, you must do it to provide a role model of healthy adult communication for your children; they will need this vital resource when they become adults.

Psychologically healthy divorced parents show courtesy and respect to each other. Their children then internalizerepparttar 131046 message that they are respected. Through open dialogue with each other, parents teach their children to speak their truth rather than sacrifice it to please one parent or blamerepparttar 131047 other. Such parents give their children an invaluable gift.

When parents stop blaming and start to look within, they take personal responsibility for their thoughts, feelings, and actions. The parents heal their issues, and their children are spared great pain.

I ask you, if you are a parent, to look torepparttar 131048 source of your pain. It is not with your former spouse. It is within you. Look closely atrepparttar 131049 areas you vehemently guard. If you don't want open communication, do it anyway. Your children need to learn how to communicate.

If you don't want to pay child support, pay it anyway. Your children are entitled to be raised withrepparttar 131050 financial resources of both parents. They deserverepparttar 131051 best life they can possibly have.

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