Changing Seasons

Written by R.L. Fieldings


Have you looked at your mother lately? I mean, have you really looked at your mother lately? As a marketing counselor in a Continuous Care Retirement Community (CCRC) I have met many senior citizens and their families. It amazes me how many children continue to see their parents asrepparttar strong, in-charge person they were 30 years ago. They are accustomed to seeing their parents provide help and support; and truly fear seeing their mother or father struggling.

Recently, a couple from Delaware brought their father into our lifecare community to look at apartments inrepparttar 136443 independent living neighborhood. When I spoke torepparttar 136444 son onrepparttar 136445 phone, I asked him how his father was managing at home. His reply was confident, "My Dad is fine, and does everything for himself." We setrepparttar 136446 appointment for later that week.

Onrepparttar 136447 day ofrepparttar 136448 appointment they arrived with Dad. I was concerned when I saw him. He was a tall, frail man, wearing a disheveled warm-up suit that looked like it needed washing. He could have also used a shave. However, when I reached for his hand to shake it, his bright blue eyes sparkled and he gave me a big smile, and a warm ”Hello.”

As we walked downrepparttar 136449 hall to see an apartmentrepparttar 136450 older gentleman pulled me aside and quietly confided, "I can't do this. My legs are too weak to walk this far." I knew he needed Assisted Living, whererepparttar 136451 rooms and distances are more manageable, and 24-hour personal care is available.

I turned torepparttar 136452 son and explainedrepparttar 136453 situation. As our parents age, sometimes they need extra care and assistance. Everyone wants their parents to live independently as long as possible, butrepparttar 136454 ability to make good decisions and to care for oneself can slowly decline. Then there may be a crisis, andrepparttar 136455 immediate and sometimes emergency need forrepparttar 136456 help of another caring adult becomes suddenly apparent.

We then touredrepparttar 136457 Assisted Living neighborhood ofrepparttar 136458 community. When we finished,repparttar 136459 older gentleman turned to me, smiled kindly and said, "This is more like it."

A Difficult Decision

Written by Paulette Kaufman


The decision to place a loved one in an assisted living facility is a difficult but frequently unavoidable one. Even thoughrepparttar choice may be absolutely necessary,repparttar 136442 person forced to makerepparttar 136443 decision for their spouse or parent often feels an overwhelming sense of guilt.

Whenrepparttar 136444 time came for me to decide to place my mother, who suffers from Parkinson’s disease, into assisted living, I knew as a nurse that it wasrepparttar 136445 best decision for both my mother and me. Allrepparttar 136446 same, I felt an enormous amount of guilt, and when I came home after helping my mother move into her new community; I broke down, sobbing.

Today I work as a marketing counselor forrepparttar 136447 facility where my mother lives – so I see her every day and know firsthand that she receives excellent care – yet there are still times when I fail to hold backrepparttar 136448 tears.

Many caretakers who decide to put their loved one in an assisted living facility think they have failed them somehow, even if they have already spent years caring for them and simply cannot do so any more. I had been taking care of my mother for three years before bringing her to live in a long-term care community, helping her with daily tasks and spending every other night at her house. I even managed to make it a family effort, with my son easing much ofrepparttar 136449 burden during his summers home from college. My mother did not want to leave her home, and I did all I could to see that she would not have to leave.

But eventually that time came. In a fall my mother broke her foot, but she hidrepparttar 136450 injury from me. A fall like my mother’s is especially worrisome because Parkinson’s is an incurable disease which progressively and inevitably gets worse. Patients are often able to minimizerepparttar 136451 ill effects ofrepparttar 136452 disease for a time, but eventually they will require frequent or constant assistance from a caregiver. My mother’s fall was a sure sign that she could no longer live on her own. When her doctor discovered that her foot was broken, he told her this in no uncertain terms. Now it became my responsibility to help her find a new home, and though part of me wanted to take care of her just as she had taken care of me as a child, I knew that I did not haverepparttar 136453 capability to care for her as her Parkinson’s progressed.

In some respects my mother and I have been fortunate, in that she was aware of her doctor’s instruction and conscious ofrepparttar 136454 reasons for entering an assisted living facility. Children and spouses of Alzheimer’s patients, onrepparttar 136455 other hand, must bearrepparttar 136456 full weight of responsibility when choosingrepparttar 136457 option of assisted living, though many spend months or even years denying this fact. Usually, when it comes time to seek out an assisted living facility for an Alzheimer’s patient, that patient has already reached an advanced stage ofrepparttar 136458 disease and likely exhibits a number of disturbing symptoms. Ifrepparttar 136459 caregiver has decided that it is time to consider assisted living,repparttar 136460 patient may already be in need of help with dressing, shaving, eating, and even usingrepparttar 136461 bathroom. Perhapsrepparttar 136462 patient has become delusional, convinced for instance thatrepparttar 136463 caregiver wishes to harm them. These are all common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, and, like Parkinson’s, such symptoms will only get progressively worse. Recognizing that a patient whose Alzheimer’s has reached such a stage and may need to enter an assisted living facility is positive. Unfortunately, I have met many people who think they can convince their parent or spouse of their need to enter an assisted living community, when in fact it is onlyrepparttar 136464 children or spouse of Alzheimer’s patients who can ultimately makerepparttar 136465 decision.

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